“Escorts and bodyworkers are frequently stigmatized in the press,” says
Rentboy’s Sean Van Sant. “Yet these courageous and skilled men provide
an invaluable service, helping clients make meaningful physical
contact, explore their fantasies, emotional needs and desire for
companionship.” For the record (and while we’re not exactly press) we
would never stigmatize hookers-unless they paid us.
While Jesse Santana will not be in attendance
(no doubt he’ll be helping crippled children or feeding the homeless)
There are eleven categories including, predictably, Best Top, Best
Bottom, Best Versatile and Best Porn Star Escort (we’re pulling for
Brodie Sinclair, but it’s costing us a thousand dollars an hour).
Not only will you get to sit comfortably within spitting distance of host Jonny “The Gay Pimp” McGovern-since Perez Hilton
was, evidently, not available-but there’s less stress and more fun than
at the so-called porn Oscars up north. Think of the “Hookies” as the
VMAs of the award season: the men are the same, but they’ll be even
drunker and, if you’re lucky enough you’ll end up in a fourgy with Andy
Dick, Jeremy Hall and a barely legal starlet (read: Bruce Villanch).
Anna Nicole pillow-biter Bobby Trendy
presents the awards, which means you’ll have something to tell your
girlfriends about after he offers you crack in a bathroom stall. Best
of all, standing room is free (though everyone, we predict, will pay
A source has leaked details to The Sword about a new fucky fucky extension that will not be beholden to any of Apple's pearl-clutching restrictions.
I don't take sex seriously enough to commit to a Master/slave dynamic, so instead I'll just read this new blog written by a 39-year-old British sub slut named Fang.
1. You know it's a leather orgy when everyone takes a moment between foreplay and fucking so they can put their clothes back on.
When I discovered that a friend of mine trims his chest hair, I told him to think of the children in Africa who have no chest hair to shave in the first place. Now I've found a fur-obsessed Photoshopper who is helming the good fight against body shavers everywhere.
The hypothesis: you can put a shitload of condoms on a dildo. The conclusion: you can put a shitload of condoms on a dildo.