The Iranian Madonna: Shohreh Solati
Also called the “Queen of Persian Pop,” Shohreh is one of Iran’s most evergreen stars and she’s actually been living in exile in the U.S., mostly in L.A., since before the Islamic Revolution in 1978. Her MySpace page gives her age as 29, but given that her first record came out in 1975, that would of course be laughable (also, see pic at right).
Hit Singles: “Havas,” “Sarbehava,” and “Dou Tha Heyroon.”
Madge Factor: Must be pushing 50; doesn’t live in her home country; had every hair color and style possible; and unlike fellow Iranian legend Googoosh-the lady sometimes called “the
Persian Madonna” who’s more like the Iranian Barbra Streisand and often
sings in English-Shohreh’s known for diva-pop dance music, sung in
Reference: “Sometimes called the Iranian Madonna, she also commonly has been referred to as the “Queen of Scene” for her boldly attention-grabbing music videos…” –TapeshTV
The French Madonna: Mylene Farmer
she’s more like a French Tori Amos, but that’s not really something to
which most people (other than La Curiosity) aspire. Since her 1984
debut, “Maman A Tort” she’s been provocatively sexy (featuring the
first full-frontal in a French music video), sings about buttsex and
AIDS, and has a reputation for spectacular stage shows. And like
Madonna, who pretends to be British when she’s actually from Detroit,
Mylene pretends to be from France while actually being… French
Canadian. Mon Dieu!
The Russian Madonna: Valeriya
is nearly 40, has had over 17 number-one hits (in Russia), eschews
alcohol and cigarettes in favor of fasts and depends on her gay fans to
reach international superstardom. Her weird relationship with an
elderly talent manager makes her a wee bit Celine-y, but we’ll forgive
it. Marketing teams are actively trying to pimp her as a dance-hall diva in Britain.
Madge Factor: 3 children, platinum blonde hair, fake English accent.
Hit Single: “The Party’s Over”
is odd that the singer, Valeriya, who has been called the Russian
Madonna, can be such a superstar only a three-hour plane journey from
London, and so unknown here.” – The Independant
The Chinese Madonna: Anita Mui
her over twenty years of performing, Chinese pop star Anita Mui (also
known as the “Madonna of Hong Kong”) became known for her gender-bending
persona and her constant image makeovers. A tireless worker, Mui
released over forty albums and appeared in numerous feature films which
were albeit generally better received than those of her American
cousin. Mui, who died in 2003, performed 33 sold-out farewell shows in
the early 90s only to return to the stage a few years later, which sort of makes her more like the Chinese Cher.
Madge Factor: numerous awards, fondness for hats.
who began singing in nightclubs at age 4, was often compared with
Madonna, not only because their careers started at almost the same time
but because they both constantly projected a new image.”
The Israeli Madonna: Ofra Haza
Discharged from compulsory Israeli Army service in 1979, Ofra quickly went on to pop stardom, and drew Madge comparisons as early as 1988. She is known for her “spirituality” as well her cheesy ballads and dance pop hits, all sung in Hebrew. Haza died of AIDS complications in 2000, and she was likely infected by husband Doron Ashkenazi, who died a year later of a crack cocaine overdose.
Hit Singles: ” Mata Hari,” and “Im Nin’Alu”
Madge Factor: millions of albums sold, numerous awards, put Kabbalah shit into dance music
Reference: “[Shaday] made Haza a household name throughout Europe because it was her first to sell millions of copies there, earning her the nickname ‘the Israeli Madonna.'” – All Music Guide
Nicknamed “Icy Spicy Leoncie” and “The Indian Princess,” this brilliant pop star from hell describes herself as the “Singer with the Black Beautiful Powerful Voice,” whose “Cleavage Shows, And Then The Icelandic Volcano Explodes.” Leoncie records all of her own music and lyrics, playing every instrument and directing every surreal, low-budget video. Known for her wild, raunchy, and outrageous lyrics, she sings lines like the following (from her single “Sex Crazy Cop”) all while keeping a straight face: “You bang them in the morning! / bang them everyday! / come home in the evening sayin’ it’s okay! / What genius doctor told you that it’s safe… for your family?”
Hit Singles: “Sex Crazy Cop,” “Invisible Girl,” and others with titles like “Radio Rapist-Wrestler.”
Madge Factor: Gratuitous age-inappropriate nudity, incessant boundary-pushing, and a martyr complex: Leoncie relocated from Iceland to London in 2005 after accusing the Icelandic media of being racist for not widely broadcasting her videos. She also has a single entitled “Madonna Is Dead.”
A source has leaked details to The Sword about a new fucky fucky extension that will not be beholden to any of Apple's pearl-clutching restrictions.
I don't take sex seriously enough to commit to a Master/slave dynamic, so instead I'll just read this new blog written by a 39-year-old British sub slut named Fang.
1. You know it's a leather orgy when everyone takes a moment between foreplay and fucking so they can put their clothes back on.
When I discovered that a friend of mine trims his chest hair, I told him to think of the children in Africa who have no chest hair to shave in the first place. Now I've found a fur-obsessed Photoshopper who is helming the good fight against body shavers everywhere.
The hypothesis: you can put a shitload of condoms on a dildo. The conclusion: you can put a shitload of condoms on a dildo.