Clean cut, bright-eyed, and not-so-bushy-tailed, Jesse entered stage left on ABC’s Desperate Housewives to find a rabid fan base of middle-aged cougars, who salivated over his clean cut appearance, perfectly tweezed eyebrows, and hairless torso. Much like the cosmopolitan studs of gay porn in the early Y2K, Jesse was a smooth young fantasy for our moms. A feast for the senses! He looked kinda photoshopped. As new myspace photos surfaced of him sporting a new chest rug and a beard, we went through his image gallery to see how this new adventure in masculinity came about. It looked kind of like this:
Jesse takes a trip to Hawaii in Fall 2007:
Around the end of his trip his 5 o’clock shadow spreads down to his chest (along with a rash?):
Jesse then gets bloody on the set for an upcoming slasher movie:
And finally, on a Bahamian beach, Jesse unleashes his inner Wolverine:
There. Do you understand now? If Jesse Metcalfe stopped shaving, it’s officially O-V-E-R.
Big, Shirtless Clusterfuck of Wolverine Stars Takes Sydney By Storm
JESSE METCALFE: HAIR TO STAY (EthanSays.com)
UPDATE: Well hello, lawyer letter from Playgirl. In other news, Playgirl can afford a lawyer? Images removed.
The Homosexual Recruiter Association celebrates another success today now that former Menudo boy bander Angelo Garcia has done the yep-i'm-gay thing. And to celebrate, he's posing nude.