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10. Damien Crosse Gets Naked for TÊTU Magazine
In case you neglected to pick up the January issue of French Gay and Lesbian magazine TÊTU (we don’t blame you, it’s hard to find at Wal-Mart), Damien posted outtakes from his photoshoot with photographer Randall Mesdon on his blog yesterday, and the whole office had new desktop wallpaper by 11am this morning. That’s how you make a top ten list, okay?
9. Erik Rhodes Takes a Time-Out from Being Miserable to Enjoy Some Therapeutic Rage Rock
When going through a bad breakup and weathering rumors of freaky fashion week three-ways, we can’t imagine anything more satisfying than a Marilyn Manson concert to mosh the pain away. Except, if we were in the moshpit at a Manson show we’d probably stay the hell away from Erik Rhodes, since one shove from his those enormous things attached to his shoulders would no doubt land us in the E.R. attached to a life-support machine, or get us impaled on an upside-down cross next to the stage. Way to channel the pain, Erik! If a rock n’ roll hand sign is the closest thing we’re going to get to an “I’m okay, don’t worry” message we’ll happily take it.
8. Nickolay Petrov Can’t Even Take Down a Couple of Senior Citizens! What a Wimp!
WHOA THERE, just kidding everybody. That was a joke. Thank God the old people are okay. Hopefully, justice will be served and porn stars will stop fulfilling the roles of drug-addled, violent, terrifying criminals like our moms are already paranoid about as it is.
7. The Boys of Gossip Girl Pose for the Cover of OUT Magazine
Ever since those SELFISH WRITERS began their LAME STRIKE and Gossip Girl got prematurely yanked off the air until next season, we’ve been frantically image googling Dan, Chuck, and Nate, hoping to recapture the magic of what is-without question-the greatest show on television, so you can imagine the boners we got when this popped up on the blogs today! Not only are they all on the cover of OUT Magazine, through which we can pretend for a brief moment that maybe they’ll make out with us, but they all bare some square-inchage of chest hair in the editorial and they’re all getting along. WE WISH THE WRITERS WOULD LEARN FROM THEIR EXAMPLE AND GET OVER THEMSELVES. Whoa, don’t listen to us, it’s the withdrawal talking. Go writers’ guild! Go writers’ guild!
6. Jessica Simpson’s Ex-Boyfriend Thinks Borat Jokes are Still Funny and Subsequently Humiliates Himself Online
We’ve included this frat-humor courtesy of John “Weird Guitar-Face” Mayer for a few reasons. First of all, it involves partial nudity. Secondly, tan lines are always sexy: ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS. And finally, we felt compelled to toss this into the mix because he also mugged for this teen blogger’s digicam by sensually rubbing sun tan oil on his male friend’s back moments before he changed into this silly thong, and was therefore being gay. Any questions?
5. Manorexia is Finally Making Headlines
We’re not saying that male anorexia is only something that happens to gay guys, but since it’s fashion week we had to include the story that made headlines all over the homo-globe these past few days, about male models becoming too thin and why it’s all Hedi Slimane’s fault. While the new, popular, slimmer silhouette does have its appeal for rockers, twinks, and the generally lanky, we miss seeing big buff hotties on the runway too. Although, if they insist on being really pasty and having quirky (read: inexplicably bad) tattoos they can keep their Dior Homme shirts on, thanks, yeah thanks, not to be bitchy, but yeah, thanks, there’s no need.
4. Michael Lucas and Jake Deckard Gratuitously Make Out at the Cybersocket Awards
Generally speaking, everyone loves Jake Deckard. As NakedSwordsman and Raging Stallion Man of the Year for 2007, the rugged and charming Jakey could’ve conceivably gotten any guy into a liplock that he wanted at the Cybersocket Awards! It came as quite a surprise, therefore, when he and Michael Lucas (whom, generally speaking, everyone either hates, loves to hate, or pretends to hate and secretly loves) got into a full-tilt tongue wrestling match in front of Gay Porn Blog’s cameras. WTF moments like these are why we love the porn industry, and it was surprisingly hot, which I guess makes sense. Since they’re porn stars and everything.
3. Charlize Theron Receives Harvard’s Hasty Pudding Award for Woman of the Year and Celebrates by Getting Crunk with Some Drag Queens
Which is totally what we would do too.
2. Sean Penn and James Franco Skip Shirtless Down Castro Street as Gay Lovers in the Harvey Milk Movie
Thank God there were extras that smuggled cameras into the film shoot of MILK, the film by Gus Van Sant about legendary slain gay political activist Harvey Milk. With Sean Penn and James Franco getting hot and heavy on-screen for the film, this is going to be the best. Movie. Ever. Made.
(Previously: Milk Movie Shoot Photo Roundup)
1. Neil Patrick Harris Riding a Fucking Unicorn for Crying Out Loud
OMG. SO GAY. We wonder if in the sequel he’ll still be playing himself, but talking about pounding pussy every two sentences. Now that he’s come out of the closet, it wouldn’t make very much sense. If this poster is an indication, maybe he’ll discover the homo within this time around. Also, we can’t help but snicker at the tagline “What would NPH do?” right above an obvious barebacking reference. Oh please, like you weren’t thinking that too.
A source has leaked details to The Sword about a new fucky fucky extension that will not be beholden to any of Apple's pearl-clutching restrictions.
I don't take sex seriously enough to commit to a Master/slave dynamic, so instead I'll just read this new blog written by a 39-year-old British sub slut named Fang.
1. You know it's a leather orgy when everyone takes a moment between foreplay and fucking so they can put their clothes back on.
When I discovered that a friend of mine trims his chest hair, I told him to think of the children in Africa who have no chest hair to shave in the first place. Now I've found a fur-obsessed Photoshopper who is helming the good fight against body shavers everywhere.
The hypothesis: you can put a shitload of condoms on a dildo. The conclusion: you can put a shitload of condoms on a dildo.