In the video below, which we recommend not watching, some Jamaican breeders give us yet another reason to thank God we’re gay. That dance music you hear is called “dagger music,” and that spaztic joyless dance you see is called “daggering.” The popularity of this new humpy-humpy dance fad has led to what doctors are calling a “record number” of broken dicks — medically known as “ruptures of the tunica albuginea.”
The problem is so serious that the Jamaican government is considering an outright ban on daggering and dagger music, Carnal Nation reports. While they’re at it, maybe they want to consider a ban on stoning gay people to death, too? Or at the very least, the government could enlist some fags to teach these fucktards how to dance without breaking their dicks.
Below: "The Long Stroke," the cable news spoof, the candid photos, your new favorite euphemism and the great Christian retreat.
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