Photos by Erwin Olaf for the NYT. Click to enlarge.
Benjamin and Joshua
The most cloying couple profiled is also the one most willing to embrace the traditional male-female binary, with Joshua in the roles of cook and house-cleaner (with vacuum, while husband sits with feet up). Here’s a representative quote from overzealous twink Joshua:
“I keep forgetting that I’m 25. I think I’m probably having some issues around that number. Am I desperately trying to hold onto my youth?” He grabbed Ben’s arm. “Honey, am I a gay cliché?”
No, you’re a female cliché. These two seem just traditional and proud enough to be the sort of couple who stays together out stubbornness, taking far more pleasure in flaunting their commitment and sticking it to their single friends than they ever will in their freedom. 5 to 1 odds of a threesome after a 2-year itch. View image
These two charmed us the most, but maybe it’s just that they like the word “heteronormative,” they met on MySpace, and we have a penchant for indie rock boys from California (their song, the one that was playing when one Brandon proposed to the other, was “This Modern Love” by Final Fantasy). Also, they are the only couple who says it isn’t realistic to assume that, at their age, they’re never going to want to fuck anyone else in their lives.
“Most straight people like to talk a great game about monogamy.” Brandon A. said. “But what are they actually doing? Many of them have affairs at some point or break up because they want to sleep with somebody else.”
We give the Brandons the most lee-way here. 20 to 1 odds of a quickie Reno divorce.
Marc and Vassili
Marc bristles at public displays of affection and at the time of writing these two hadn’t yet told their parents about their marriage though both were still living with them. While they’ve never lived together, they insist they’re completely compatible and already know that everything’s going to work out just swell.
“I like doing laundry and ironing,” Vassili told me. “He likes yardwork.”
Yeah but does he fold the t-shirts right and still agree to fuck you even if he’s tired? These are the things a marriage is built on.
3 to 1 odds that it survives beyond the warranty on their iPhones.
Anthony and Daniel Levin
First, while even straight people are keeping their names, Anthony took Daniel’s. Second, they hardly know any other gay people. Third, they’re 26 and 23 and married when the younger, Daniel, was 21. Fourth, they don’t allow each other to point out other cute guys, or flirt with others.
“Flirting with guys, or trying to get attention from random guys, has honestly never appealed to me,” Daniel told me. “I don’t know why, but it’s just not the way I’m built. It came as no surprise to people who knew me well that I would be the type to settle down in a relationship.”
Even odds that Anthony is going to be burning a newly monogrammed polo shirt within two years.
Paul and Jason
The least quoted in the piece, these coverboys are possibly the most dashing of the bunch. They’ve been together eight years already, were married when they were 29, and live in Waltham where we imagine they fuck like the strapping lads they are every night of the week, and sometimes barbecue (as pictured). Maybe it’s the meat, but this doesn’t look half-bad. 10 to 1 odds that Paul has a dalliance with his assistant in five years.
Of course, the (adorable) writer of the piece, Benoit Denizet-Lewis, offers up a cautionary tale. As one of the first gays in Massachusetts to be married (he had his nuptials broadcast on MTV), Aaron’s now one of the first to be divorced, at age 26. Beware smug marrieds: Soup for one and phone sex with a suicide hot-line operator are only a fight away.
Young Gay Rites (NYT)
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I don't take sex seriously enough to commit to a Master/slave dynamic, so instead I'll just read this new blog written by a 39-year-old British sub slut named Fang.
1. You know it's a leather orgy when everyone takes a moment between foreplay and fucking so they can put their clothes back on.
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The hypothesis: you can put a shitload of condoms on a dildo. The conclusion: you can put a shitload of condoms on a dildo.