For others in the gay-o-sphere, it’s the one day of year when they’re free to dress like a sexy jack-o-lantern just like any prepubescent whore might at the local junior high school.
We’re not hating, we LOVE sluts and their funny outfits. Show off your gym bod on this unholiest of holy days if you must! But just so you know, we’ve been looking around the pumpkin patch, and some of your looks are T-I-R-E-D.
And now, let’s just pay tribute to Mr. Blackwell for a sec and give you our list of ten costumes you have got to stop wearing this year.
10. Sexy Clowns
Come on, you creepy perverts. We shouldn’t have to tell you this is wrong. Funny, yes. Scary, definitely. Sexy? NEVER! CLOWNS WILL NEVER BE SEXY. STOP TRYING TO MAKE SEXY CLOWNS HAPPEN. THEY ARE NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. If you personally are attracted to clowns and find this list item offensive, EW! That is SO GROSS.
8. Sarah Palin
7. A Chippendale
6. A 70s Athlete
5. Sexy UPS Man
3. Brokeback Mountain
2. Batman & Robin
1. The Village People
Hot New It-Girl Alert! Meet Ja’mie
A source has leaked details to The Sword about a new fucky fucky extension that will not be beholden to any of Apple's pearl-clutching restrictions.
I don't take sex seriously enough to commit to a Master/slave dynamic, so instead I'll just read this new blog written by a 39-year-old British sub slut named Fang.
1. You know it's a leather orgy when everyone takes a moment between foreplay and fucking so they can put their clothes back on.
When I discovered that a friend of mine trims his chest hair, I told him to think of the children in Africa who have no chest hair to shave in the first place. Now I've found a fur-obsessed Photoshopper who is helming the good fight against body shavers everywhere.
The hypothesis: you can put a shitload of condoms on a dildo. The conclusion: you can put a shitload of condoms on a dildo.