Yet another accuser comes forward with rape allegations against Topher Dimaggio.
A week ago, #MeToo arrived at right at our doorstep with the news Tegan Zayne had accused fellow gay porn star Topher Dimaggio of raping him the night before they were to film a scene for CockyBoys two years ago.
“I think it’s time I tell a #metoo story, I have so many but this one really takes the cake, because of how recent it was and especially because the guy responsible is still thriving in the porn industry while I suffered.” ~Tegan Zayne
Tegan told his story in a series of five tweets which you can read here. Arguably, Twitter might not have been the most ideal way to come forward, but any tussle over his methodology is quickly fading. Going public has helped inspire two other alleged victims of Topher’s to come forward.
The first, “Dan,” came forward last Friday, telling his story to Hornet.
“I said, Stop, no, this hurts, and he said, Just don’t worry about it. Don’t worry about it. And he kept going and going and going and I just remember saying no, please stop, no, please. And I remember … I could see it and feel it in my head. I could remember where I was, where my body was, the pain, where he was, and then he finished inside me.
And was like … OK, well, what the fuck? I don’t know where I am, really. I’m stuck here. And then I woke up the next morning, not really knowing what was happening, sort of putting the pieces together. It wasn’t until I left and went home and I showered and I felt the pain and I was like, Holy shit, I need to go see a doctor.”
Then over the weekend, a third man, Bryan, came forward to StrUpGayPorn with his story.
“If I had been able to push him off, I would’ve been able to escape. I remember my hand going on his waist and trying to push back, but it didn’t work. He was holding my chest with one arm, and then holding one of my arms with his other arm, so I couldn’t move. And then he started doing it, and I really couldn’t move. We were standing there over the toilet as he did it.”
It seems like it was a really long time, but I think it was only 10 or 15 minutes. When he finally stopped and he let me go, I asked him if he was finished, and he was like, ‘Yeah. I busted twice.’ He pulled up his pants and walked out of the bathroom.”
In between this all, Topher released a cut and paste statement to defend himself that not only took some of Tegan’s tweets out of context, some lines were directly plagiarized from the statement Russell Simmon’s gave to the New York Times refuting the allegations leveled against him.
Tegan is not without his own critics. The most vociferous amongst them tried to refute the matter and reduce it to a cry for attention and for “sympathy casting.” At the time, it was “he said, he said.”
Now that Dan and Bryan have also come forward, it’s “he said, they said,” with many similarities between the alleged victims’ stories that all underscoring one of the most basic truths about rape: it’s much more about power than about sex.
Neither Dan nor Bryan are from the adult industry. Sexuality is not a commodity they make their living with. Aside from their own painful alleged experiences, they also spoke of the stigma they felt being a male rape victim. There was no profit incentive for them in advancing their careers. If anything, they have paid a price I hope no of us ever have to.
This is not a court. We are not a jury. We have not heard from all sides being cross-examined. But that doesn’t stop us from one lesson underscored by this matter no matter what the ultimate truth proves to be:
No matter what you do for a living, where it happens, or with who,
No Means No. Period.
If this empowers any victims of sexual assault to come forward to deal with emotional and/or physical effects of what they have been through, that is some good that can come out of this.
As for this story in particular, who knows when or if there are more shoes to drop.
Watch this blog.
The Sword joins Hornet and Str8UpGayPorn featuring following resources:
If you or someone you know has been the victim of rape or sexual assault, there are many resources available for help, including RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network), the National Domestic Violence Hotline for LGBTQ Abuse, EMERGE (an organization set up to offer help to LGBTQ batterers) and The Anti-Violence Project for LGBTQ people.