When we went bowling with Mason, the only conversation we could muster involved regular updates on how drunk we were. But the King of Bottoms just published three articles that suggest we have more in common than we thought. In the first of his treatises, “Different But Equal,” Mason writes:
Honestly, we are freaks of nature and we should embrace that. We should STOP trying to convince the breeders that we are JUST like them. We’re not…Most men do NOT seek true happiness in another man’s underpants or find it in a muscle stud named Zane. Why the hell would we want to be just the same as everyone else anyway?
We don’t know who this muscle stud named “Zane” is, but we do know that Mason is dead-on correct. We’ve taken the beleaguered Queerty blog to task for their prudish stance that porn does little to help the gay community “win the hearts and minds of straight people.” Like Mason, we’re way more interested in embracing a hairy asshole with our mouth than in fitting into a mainstream culture that we’re too drunk, slutty and cool for.
In a subsequent blog post, Mason cries out for a bottle of ‘woo-girl’-be-gone:
One of the most annoying things about being dragged out to the gay scene is walking in and seeing the amount of dick-hungry females taking up very limited gay space… You have a vagina? Great, nobody here wants it. Please go away and be a frothing whore elsewhere.
We couldn’t have said it better ourselves, even though we tried. And as for Mason’s final blog post, “Gay Marriage is NOT That Important,” we said the same thing here, here and here. Is Mason’s brain so hot that we would skull-fuck him — literally? Well, no, but we just thought about it.
Watch Mason Wyler in Spokes III on NakedSword.
It's an interview with Phillip Aubrey: porn star, Spencer Reed's boyfriend, burp fetishist.
The COLT superstars joined a protest in Rome against the Catholic Church in order to make the claim that gay people are not pedophiles. There was a chihuaha involved.
I feel sorry for people with fetishes that can never be realized in real life. Take this Flickr user, who has to make do with his giants fetish using Photoshop.
I'm not one for bragging about intellectual accomplishments (it's something I learned from, you know, graduating with honors from Brown University), but Conner Habib is justifiably excited about his blurb in a book written by Carl Sagan's son.