Sad news for all of you Catholics: Former Nazi and child sex abuse apologist Pope Benedict announced his surprise retirement today. This is the first time a Pope has retired in over 600 years, and though he’s blaming his departure on “poor health,” everyone knows that’s a lie. Obviously, Pope Benedict is being forced to resign because he fucked one of the Bel Ami boys during their recent trip to the Vatican. But which Bel Ami boy did the Pope fuck?
Did the Pope fuck Kevin Warhol?
Did the Pope fuck Adam Archuleta?
Did the Pope fuck Andre Boleyn?
Did the Pope fuck Jaco Van Sant?
Did the Pope fuck Sean Davis?
Which Bel Ami boy did the Pope fuck?
Or, did the Pope’s fondness for older men lead him to fuck Trevor Yates?
Or, did the Pope fuck all of the Bel Ami boys and Trevor Yates at the same time when they were on location shooting Scandal in the Vatican?
Now that the Pope’s retired, is he allowed to fuck as many gay porn stars as he wants?
Now that the Pope’s retired, will he act like a gay porn star and eventually announce his “unretirement”?
Is the Pope a bottom?
Does the Pope swallow?
At the end of the day, my money’s on Warhol.
The Pope fucked Kevin Warhol.
He seems like the Pope’s kind of guy.
Goodbye forever, Pope!