Gay culture is alive and well!
Touted as the one of the largest annual events in the world for gays (and GHB dealers), it’s White Party 2011! This year’s entertainment line-up includes Charo (she should have been the headliner on Saturday), Robyn (fine), gay porn star Brodie Newport doing something at an after party, singers Alexis Jordan (who?) and Wynter Gordon (who?), “dance sensation” Zoe Badwi (who?), “Vampire Diaries” actress and singer Kat Graham (an actress and a singer!?; who?), and Cirque Du Soleil. People aren’t really into Cirque Du Soleil anymore, are they? I take my circuses with clown cars and bearded ladies, not weirdo body contortionists wrapping themselves up in oversized scarves, please. Also, bring some Visine and however much outrage at your lack of civil rights you can muster while coming down off ecstasy because Adam Bouska will be doing one of his NOH8 photo shoots in a hotel, which is perfect for those faggots who like to honor marriage equality and have promiscuous, demoralizing sex all in one weekend. Which photo will be your Facebook profile pic come the Monday after? The one of you with the masking tape over your mouth in a hotel room or the one of you at the NOH8 photo shoot?
Big surprise: I think White Party is stupid. Not because of the bad music or rampant drug abuse or abundance of stereotypical spray-tanned, roided out muscle studs or whoring around in hotel rooms at 6 a.m. with people you don’t know and will never see again (you can do that anywhere, really), but because this is the event that is celebrated and promoted as one of the largest annual events in the world for gays, and I think it sucks to be identified with bad music, rampant drug abuse, spray-tanned muscle studs, and whoring around in hotel rooms with people you don’t know (actually I’m OK with this last part). Or, maybe I’m just jealous that I’m not going?
Have fun, sluts.
Here’s the White Party website, which I’ve been reluctant to link to throughout this post because jesus fucking christ.