White America Can’t Handle Diesel Washington, Except For When It Can

Perched on his high-rise terrace behind a telescope, Diesel spies on the illicit sexual encounters of gay men all over the naked city, before partaking in some jaw-dropping action himself with his personal valet, played by Steven Ponce, and later with central coverboy Rick Van Sant and Alex Baressi. These scenes don’t only introduce a new Diesel-coined sexual position (ominously titled “The Bully”), but also feature a gratuitous foot-fucking scene in which Diesel shoves his foot up both Rick and Alex’s asses. A “footing” form of revenge? Diesel takes us through his stages of grief upon realizing he wouldn’t be front and center in what he considered to be his first starring vehicle:

1. Shock: “THIS IS MY MOVIE, MY BEST WORK TO DATE AND I’M NOT THE MAIN FEATURE ON THE BOX COVER. I was upset, mad, confused and let down and had some very harsh words for My Company, the Industry and the people closest to me who also worked on this project with me. And I over reacted and was instantly depressed about my future in porn and I felt like I was being used!!!!!!”

2. Denial:“But this movie is my Baby, I worked hard on the scenes and put everything I had into these scenes.”

3. Anger:“The best way to Market the Movie is not to put me as the lead model on the Box Cover why????? why???? Because the movie will sell more copies because there is a Handsome White man on the cover!!!! Period!!!!

While this is Wrong!!!! Most buyers of DVDs buy the movie because the Box cover!!!! If I was on the Box cover, immediately people will think this movie is a Black Movie and the most intense fuck scenes and action will be lost to the public because of a Simple Box cover!!!”

4. Bargaining:“Denzel Washington starred in many movies playing the main character of the movie but always needed a equally star powered White Actor to Co star with him that way the movie didnt become into a Black Movie.”

5. Acceptance:“Geez business is business, if another talented model has to be put on the box cover for my movie to be sold, then so be it. My work will speak for itself, and White America(ignorant part of White America) bought into the hype. Image the shock of buying the movie because of the Extremely Handsome white man on box cover and finding out that the main character of the movie is a Handsome Black man fucking, fisting, and footing the Handsome White Man on the Box Cover. Total mind fuck and I love it!!! Now I don’t want to get political and say this and that but after some hard thinking I’m very happy with the outcome of the movie and Box cover.”

We notice that when held up against the Kübler-Ross model, Diesel’s stages of grief seem to have injected a lot of exclamation points and narcissism where the depression stage used to be. While we commend Diesel for not drifting into the pseudocidal territory residentially occupied by Erik Rhodes, his frustration is certainly understandable (prominent real estate on the cover of Titan’s Crossing the Line: Cop Shack 2 notwithstanding). You’ve also got to hand it to Titan for featuring a black performer much more prominently than their main industry competitors (they know who they are). As it stands, while we’re certain that Titan was merely showcasing Rick Van Sant as a new addition to their harem of stars, we can’t help but get behind any campaign for more Diesel Washington box covers. With tricks like “the bully” and a foray into “footing” up his sleeve until now, who knows what he’ll dip his toes into next?

RELATED:
TELESCOPE MY MOVIE FINALLY DROPS!!!! (Diesel’s Blog)
Telescope: Director’s Expanded Edit (TitanMen.com)

EARLIER:
We Interrupt This GayVN Awards Coverage to Bring You Sleazy Polaroids from the Glass Elevator

0 thoughts on “White America Can’t Handle Diesel Washington, Except For When It Can”

  1. Diesel u couldnt even be the token n***** in the back.
    Disgusting entertainment bizz.
    But its the same in advertising and lets say all matters concerning $$ and sales.
    We might have THAT ONE in office soon however there is still a long way to go
    before these white male chauvinist pigs change their course.

  2. HA ! “his look kind of scares me” … hello it is a hardcore FISTING movie … you might not be the target audience to begin with ….

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