Gone are the halcyon days that glittery power bottoms like Johnny Weir and Evan Lysacek ruled the ice at the Winter Olympics. The Sochi mayor stated that gays don’t exist in his town, and by God I’m starting to believe him. Because none — and I mean NONE — of the male figure skating lineup is hot.
I had an easier time finding hot guys in the Super Bowl (and that was pretty difficult already), but I honestly expected a glorious twink overload when it came to the male figure skaters.
Not the case. And no, I’m not even going to post pictures. You can Google it yourself.
Before you get your American flag panties in a twist, kindly allow to me refresh your memory. In 2010, American skaters Johnny Weir and Evan Lysacek had a bitter will-they-or-won’t-they-fuck rivalry that electrified the rink with deliriously bitchy hot tension. Oh, and while they were at it, they looked like this:
They weren’t the only ones melting the ice with their sheer heat. There was also:
Vaughn Chipeur of Canada
Samuel Contesti of Italy
Brian Joubert of France
Stephane Lambiel of Switzerland
Now, I don’t want to be mean (okay, I do), but after all of the hateful fails of Russia and the Olympics, the least we gays could get is some decent eye candy. But once again, we’ve gotten fucked in every way except the good way.
America, stop trying to make Jason Brown happen. He’s not gonna happen. #sorrynotsorry
Johnny Weir’s Grindr is gonna look awful ratchet in Sochi. This is what happens when you piss off the gays. Everyone loses.
Previously: WELCOME TO RUSSIA, HOMOSEXUALS…
QUEERTY has a list of the hottest Olympiaans;I don’t agree with all of the choices but there are definitely some good looking men…and Im sure there are more beyond that list. Many of the sports aren’t high profile and we don’t hear about these athletes except for every 4 years
There were many hot guys on the ice last night. Javier Fernandez of Spain is SUPER HOT. Im not usually into Asians but Patrick from Canada wasn’t bad. Many were very good looking. Don’t they still get judged on choreography? That seems off when someone else choreographs the routines…same with designing costumes. I heard Johny say he designed the costume for one of the guys – I think it was the winner. The Kazakstan guy who lives in LA wasn’t bad looking either. But none hold candles to the gymnasts….Those are the guys that need to be doing the nude photoshoots. I remember the Cuban guy who was in the naked issue last year. Gorgeous. (But I guess skating is more of a sport than curling. But it seems the Winter Olympics are inventing new sports every cycle)
Is Evan gay? I thought Ive heard him say in interviews that he’s straight.
Not everyone is a Weir fan. Not everyone is into queeny guys (Thats not a put down; it just is what it is – he’s very fem)
This years top 2 Americans havent said anything about their sexuality. They both give off a gay vibe, especially the 19 year old with the pony tail…If he is gay, I hope he does better in 2018..Would love a Jewish gay guy to become the new American hero
Well you boys can keep your figure skaters, while I take the men’s bobsledding team!
http://www2.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/Curt%2BTomasevicz%2BSteve%2BHolcomb%2BUSOC%2BMedia%2BSummit%2BCsMLJfdb0F1l.jpg
http://i.perezhilton.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/canadian-bobsled-team-posts-picture-in-their-underwear__oPt.jpg
http://easternprogress.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/2411699-1050472890.jpg
And this right here is the guy who had to break down his jammed door to get out of the bathroom
http://www.johnnyquinnusa.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/q.jpg
Patrick CHAN from Canada, Javier RAYA from Spain are WAY hot.
Zoltan KELEMEN and Michal BREZINA are also pretty hot.
Weir is pretty good looking, but that pic you chose was not sexy.
Zoltan’s not badlooking but Patrick Chan??? Not with that face of his.
Another racist comment from @sxg. You hated Asians really!
And you should check out John Daly who is competing in the skeleton. I’d hit that in a second. Google image search him.
He wasn’t a consistent medalist but the backflipping Ryan Bradley was also cute.
https://www.google.com.ph/search?q=bradley+figure+skater&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=g3_3UqO1DoWpiAelm4CwBg&sqi=2&ved=0CDMQsAQ&biw=1280&bih=612#q=ryan+bradley&tbm=isch&imgdii=_
mmm yea Ryan Bradley was hot. For me, the last drop-dead gorgeous figure skater was Michael Weiss
http://famousdude.com/images/michael-weiss-04.jpg
I don’t think any guy looks hot in sequined spandex with ruffles.
What a rotten human being, to talk of young men, almost kids, this way.
Bitch, young men and kids suck too. You think youth is a valid excuse for anything?
Oh get over yourself Miss Humanity Police.
Stephane and Vaughn aint bad! Total boyfriend material but eye candy..well..guess not.
Has Shaun White had work done? He’s much better looking than he used to be.
It’s amazing what some maturing and a haircut will do. I couldn’t believe it myself. I haven’t seen much of him, then i watched the opening games and they showed him. OMG he’s quite the hot ginger.
It doesn’t seem right to bitch about the athletes when we really have a problem with Putin. He’s the dickhead, not the athletes. The athletes have to live in the shitty country under that shitty dictator. I don’t feel good about demonizing them. Unless they do something to deserve it, of course.
Russian athletes really aren’t complaining. They are a bit brainwashed and they don’t register any of the problems media has been highlighting around the world as an issue. They still have a soviet union mentality without the same athleticism.
BTW, Evgeni Plushenko, most hideous of all Russian men’s figure skaters.
Johnny Weir is a fierce queen, but never hot. And Lysacek is a Frankensteiny butterface. A fantastic underdog story, but a Frankensteiny butterfacey fantastic underdog story nonetheless. So that raggedy looking young kid in the last picture is indeed par for the course where US skaters are concerned.
I think Holden Wang has what Project Runway would call a taste issue.
Ouch. Harsh. I don’t know if I agree. While none are necessarily making me drool, I find Jeremy Abbott to be cute. He has nice eyes, nice legs and cute booty. I certainly wouldn’t turn him down. And johnny Weir is, was, and always will be gross. I actually thought Evan L. Had a decent body and butt, however his face…meh. I’d take Jeremy over either one of those two.
Also wanted to add Michal Brezina from the Czech Republic, he’s kind of cute. And the other Spanish skater Javier Raya isn’t too bad looking either.
For me, all the hot guys are in bob sledding. Those guys are built like fucking houses! All those thick muscular bodies wearing bodysuits, fucking woof and yum! :)
WRONG!
First of all, Johnny Weir was never hot. He was barely decent, that nasty queen.
Second, Brian Joubert is also competing this year again, so I highly doubt he’s changed all that much from 4yrs ago.
As far as hotties this season, there’s at least 2 in my opinion. One of them is Spanish figure skater Javier Fernandez and the other is Brazilian French Florent Amodio. Definitely can say none from the US, Canada, Japan, or China are hot. Can’t speak for the rest.
Agree. Both gorgeous
Javier: yes, yes, yes. Florent: no, no no (..and you’re crazy for suggesting it).
Brian Joubert has BDF.