David Cook may have triumphed over rival David Archuleta in the latest round of American Idol, but he’s still less popular than watersports videos, according to private investigators who testified this week at the Max Hardcore obscenity trial in Tampa.
From The Soup we take this clip of a clip, featuring Bravo’s Chief Gay Officer (CGO) Andy Cohen assuring Real Housewives husband Simon that, despite hundreds of viewer emails, “just ’cause you love Speedos doesn’t make you gay.” We just love the mischievous (or psychotic?) glint in Andy’s lazy eye as he says it.
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Sign of the times! An intoxicated man shat in the entryway to San Francisco’s infamous Hole in the Wall bar, and liveblogger Omega, It’s Jameth was there to catch every astonishing minute. The details, thankfully, are fuzzy. The extra-drunk bar patron evidently ordered a drink only to be ejected from the bar, whereupon he began removing his clothes and promptly squatted to leave a tip. At some point, the man cried rape and the police were called.
Of all the rap superstars being not outed by the recent publishing of Hiding In Hip-Hop, it never occurred to us that the indomitable Lil’ Wayne might be one of them. The scribe of such masterful lyrics as “bitches wanna fuck like they’re me and I’m them,” couldn’t be playing for our team, could he? Then again, “bitches” is sort of gender non-specific. Then again (again), he also raps “naked women rub my back and ask me how was my night. i say, ‘bitch stay out my business.’ when we fuck she say, ‘just stay out my kidneys.'” We don’t mean to be rash but that seems pretty heterosexual to us! However, rapper TQ, formerly of the crew Cash Money, has come out calling bullshit on some of Weezy’s more faggeezy behavior (we know, that was lame but we tried). TQ tells “the world’s most dangerous site” AllHipHop.com:
It’s been proven that summertime is in full effect, and while much of gay culture spends its time swooning over Madonna or Kylie for the next three months in between repeat screenings of the Sex and the City movie and trips out to Fire Island, we’re feeling (surprise!) a little bit over it. Thankfully we’ve got an iPod filled with far out tunes so we can plug our ears to the house remixes of American Idol cast-offs which will inevitably accompany the gay pride festivities this month in lieu of something with a little more guitar fuzz.
‘Tis the season for getting buck-naked and thrashing around in a pool pretending to be sodomized by foam noodles (or actually getting sodomized for real, publicly, at Rentboy parties in Palm Springs). In the spirit of summertime, RandyBlue.com‘s Reese Rideout, Xander Scott, and Brent Diggs took a ride to Sacramento to attend a pool party meet-and-greet with fans, followed by a raunchy night of go-go dancing with Falcon-exclusive TJ Hawke. Our favorite giant-haired roaster, The Lady Bunny, was also in attendance to ensure nonstop Memorial Day lewdness, and Starrfucker was on hand to capture it all for his Flickr account. Below, check out all the beach balls, butt cheeks, and bar dancing you’ll ever need to begin a truly blazing summer.
We can not get enough of vintage gay porn, and it doesn’t get much purer or simpler than J. Brian’s 1971 masterpiece 7 in a Barn. It was shot on location in Boonville, CA and it’s so innocently dirty and wildly sexy it gets us hard just thinking about it. Lean-bodied Dean Chasson dominates as the ringleader of a private sex club, and the action unfolds after a poker game decides Master and Slave, with hotties Jerome Sanderson, Todd Taylor and four others, none of whom besides Chasson had later careers in porn as far as we know.
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Watch 7 in a Barn on NakedSword.
More titles with Dean Chasson (NakedSword)
We’re winding down this series on the high-profile, 20th century, down-low homophiles who Mom thought were just “real characters.” As historical (or historically relevant–sorry, Elton)
Deep Throat Energy Drink, which bears the tag “XXX-Treme Energy,” is being hawked by Arrow Productions, in association with the eponymous 1972 porno. We don’t really understand how an energy drink is a logical extension of a porn franchise, but Linda Lovelace is on the can and the other tagline they’re using is “keep it up all night,” which is clearly is a ploy to sell the concoction to dumb, insecure 20-year-old straight boys who like porn. The company threw a series of parties in Southern California to promote the beverage with “beer pong” tournaments using Russian Deep Throat shots (a mixture of vodka with the energy drink).
We love the term “death by misadventure,” don’t you? An inquest into the death of British radio DJ Kevin Greening, who was most famous for co-hosting a morning program on BBC Radio 1 with Zoe Ball, has concluded that Greening died after a night of partying with his lover on the eve of his 45th birthday in December. Greening had been out clubbing with boyfriend Sean Griffin, and the two came home pretty cracked out (coke, E and GHB were found in Greening’s system). Then they started in with the S&M, and the boyfriend became concerned when Greening, strung up in a sling attached to a scaffolding, became pale and his mouth began turning gray. The cause of death was recorded in the inquest as “death by misadventure” and “mixed drugs toxicity.”
It just doesn’t end. The biggest chick flick in the history of the known universe has inspired quite a bit of YouTubery, not the least of which are some funny “man on the street” guerrilla-style interviews with fans. Enjoy a selection chosen by us, after the jump.
DList.com co-founder Daniel Nardicio and his busload of trannies descended on Atlantic City as predicted, and through exploitation of senseless violence and rampant acts of sodomy, the ragtag crew managed inject a bit of gay debauchery into the straight-gentrified Reno of the east. Having lost its last gay bar in 2007, the city was in dire need of a meat injection, so Nardicio and clan sauntered over to a “dingy watering hole named West Side Bar” to record a radio program. While there, a struggle ensued, someone was stabbed, and “the culprit left his backpack behind, which they immediately went through on air.” Not only that, but, Nardicio testified to Next Magazine, “the blood on the wall became a photo attraction that night.”
Screw gay-for-pay: if you want to get off to a real straight man, head to the other side of the video store. Not long ago, straight porn was dominated by ugly everymen like Ron Jeremy, who allowed thousands of fat masturbating men to imagine that they, too, could have sex with Seka. Oh, how times have changed!
Project Runway 4 winner Christian Siriano has apologized for comments that he made in a recent Time Out New York interview that got GLAAD on his ass. Basically, the boy with the cockatiel hairstyle who popularized the phrase “hot tranny mess” in mainstream culture went further to say, “If you think of heterosexuals, they have white-trash women and trailer parks, and we have drag queens and trannies.” While we would never generalize that drag queens are all trashy, we are certainly familiar with the brand of sloppy, badly made-up, often intoxicated drag queen with poor taste who epitomizes the term “tranny mess,” and we think that Christian was just doing a poor job of explaining himself.
We’ve previously reported on the bear festival that seems to be taking Sydney’s beaches by storm and masquerading itself as training for the new flick X-Men Origins: Wolverine. However, we are so impressed by the beastly and sexy Hugh Jackman that when photos floated to the surface of the native Aussie and his personal trainer holding hands* and working out in the wash of waves, we started putting them up before we’d even had coffee, half asleep as if on autopilot, and here they are!
You might as well globe-trot if you’ve got the means, ladies. It’s Pride season everywhere, and in addition to a major afterparty in Paris, Pride week in Barcelona and three super-gay film festivals, June also brings us Club Motherfucker in London, gay tango in Buenos Aires and the 16th Annual Gay City Festival in Berlin. Also, a crazy kink party in Cape Town and a crazy twink party in Manila. Cheers.
See it all on The Sword Events and Travel page.
Buenos Aires
Wednesdays in June
For the first time in Argentinean history, gays are allowed to dance the time-honored tango in gay milongas all over town! Pull your head out of your new Don Juan’s ass, stop going out to nightclubs for a night, and try this. It’ll be culturally interesting, you’ll learn something, you’ll celebrate gay liberation, and you’ll get to watch a bunch of weird Argentinean couples tango like it’s their fucking birthdays. Now twirl!
Milan, Italy (USA)
June 4-10
Italy’s salute to gay and lesbian cinema features a roster of films by and featuring the likes of James Bolton, Bruce LaBruce, Roberto Cuzzillo, Tilda Swinton, Catherine Deneuve, and Isaac Julien’s Derek Jarman documentary. Exploring themes of contrast between light and dark, this festival steps out of the mold in order to draw together the struggles and joys that are intrinsic to our, well, fucked up second-class lives. Click here to find out more, but know your Italian!
The Social
London, England
June 11
The infamous London club night celebrates the summer months with a guest from Horse Meat Disco and a performance by Team Robespierre. Having seen acts such as Bloc Party, Lo-Fi-FNK, Planningtorock, Matt & Kim,The Killers (do you see where we’re going with this?) performing on their stage, you may not want to miss it before they become the next big thing. Click here for details.
San Francisco, CA (USA)
June 19-29
As far as gay and lesbian film festivals go, San Francisco’s Frameline is sort of the be-all and end-all of the bunch. Known as the western world’s gay capital, San Francisco is the only place where you’ll get to traverse from the Roxie to the Castro Theater to The Victoria to the Rialto in style and choose from any of 237 gay movies. Who says the gays are underrepresented? Click here for the crucial info.
Mr. San Francisco Leather 2004 Julian Marshburn takes us on a tour of the Mr. S. Leather Booth at the IML Leather Mart, including a dog mask that Hot House Exclusives Johnny Gunn and Ross Hurston are happy to demonstrate.
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Who doesn’t enjoy the sordid gay histories that you catch on Court TV, drunk and post-trick, at 3AM?
Steve Cruz is auctioning himself off for charity, but that doesn’t mean anyone’s going to get laid. The stud’s got a hair-brained “Win A Date” auction going on his site for “a platonic date for 1-2 hours depending on the activity. This is not a solicitation for sex.”
Tom Ford doesn’t shy away from nudity. After enlisting a vagina and hairy buttocks to sell his namesake cologne, Ford is now employing an actual naked man to sell his menswear line. The nutrageous ad campaign features Brazilian Alex Schultz demonstrating what you might look like if you can’t actually afford the $4,000 suit from the Fall 2008 collection. If it was up to us, though, we’d give Alex the trench coat so he could be a true flasher.
Bar Code
18 Coburn Street
Green Point, Cape Town, South Africa
June 2, 10 PM to 2AM
The gay capital of Africa, it seems, is Cape Town (correct us if we’re wrong, Johannesburg), and if you’re looking for something a little more sleazy than the usual lounge, dance bar, or bathhouse on a wintry June night, then you should probably head over to Naked Pork, every other Monday at Bar Code. This would be a strict leather-rubber-uniform-bear bar where all “high fashion leather” and and street fashion of any kind is not allowed. Check out the dress code if you’re not clear.
The legendary fashion designer Yves Saint Laurent passed away yesterday at the age of 71, prompting dedicated followers of fagshion everywhere to let out a collective boom gasp, throw on some YSL deoderant, and wistfully reflect on the career of a homo who changed the way modern women dressed forever. The revolutionary artist was praised for giving women the freedom to wear pants, bringing the prints of Matisse and Mondrian to the runway, and ushering in the era of bohemian-chic couture.
It may be a total fiction and just a savvy career move, or it may be completely true and still a lucrative PR opportunity. In either case, Lindsay Lohan is probably mere moments away from coming out of the closet in a major editorial spread, and she’s holding out for a high bid. Page Six reports that LiLo-who’s been spending most of her time with lady-loving gal pal Samantha Ronson and actually posted a Facebook profile under the name “Lindsay Ronson” not long ago-has turned down a $1 million offer from OK magazine to do an exclusive piece on her love of the bearded clam.
Hedda was headlining at Comix in NYC a couple weeks back and we grabbed this clip where she pulls Michael Lucas on stage, abuses him like any other audience member and then returns him to his seat.
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In an update on the men arrested for “crimes against nature” in Raleigh last week: the district attorney has dropped the charges realizing that the men were engaged in a consensual act and that 2003’s Lawrence v. Texas ruling invalidated all sodomy laws that remain on the books in some states too stubborn to remove them. Sounding like a regular spokesman for the ACLU, one of the arrested men, Nelson Keith Sloan, spoke to reporters very pointedly about the fact that the legislature still has to do something about the law to keep asshole cops from enforcing it.