July 2008

Noted racist, homophobe, former U.S. Senator and self-described “redneck” Jesse Helms finally died this past Friday, in the wee hours of our great nation’s Independence Day.  We called this one back in February, but the stubborn old bastard hung on for a few months just so he could have the satisfaction of getting that July 4th date on his gravestone.  (Here’s hoping Andres Serrano makes a pilgrimage down to wherever he’s buried, to piss on it.)

Helms bitterly fought against federal funding for AIDS research and treatment, claiming the disease resulted from “disgusting” and “unnatural” behavior. And he single-handedly caused the ruckus over the National Endowment for the Arts in the late 80s when he held Congressional hearings to protest funds going to artists such as Robert Mapplethorpe and Serrano, whose “Piss Christ” became a conservative rallying point against funding for the arts.

They always say porn and alcohol are recession-proof industries… and Valleywag is reporting today that an independent market-research firm went to work surveying new customers of a straight porn site (LSGModels.com — Warning! Tits! Also, NSFW!) this past month, and 32% of these customers said they purchased memberships in part due to their Economic Stimulus Package checks. The site has in fact seen 20-30% growth in memberships since May. Congress and the Bushies probably should have known better than to think people were going to spend an extra $600 bucks on food and domestic tourism. We spent ours on absinthe, credit card debt and tips shoved in the shorts of a particularly hot go-go boy last weekend. (Luv ya, Greg. Call us.) Feel free to spend some of yours here!

In a scene worthy of a B-side Dolly Parton song, a 21-year-old gay man who had admitted to previously sleeping with a woman woke to a “searing pain and disturbing wetness,” then watched as his male lover flushed his severed penis down the toilet. The offending organ has not been recovered, and in typical male fashion we’re having trouble recovering from even the idea of this.

We’re sorry we missed this in all the pre-Pride madness last week, and we’re willing to give old Al the benefit of the doubt, but it seems Al Sharpton, appearing on Anderson Cooper 360 last week, made a statement about his own liberal religious beliefs that could be interpreted as him trying to out Anderson on the air.  He said, and we quote, “I may have some very conservative personal feelings, but I feel you have the right to live your life differently. I may think that what you do Anderson is gonna put you in Hell, but I’m gonna defend your right to get there.”  Everyone laughed and someone else on the show said something about wanting to keep Anderson from going to hell, but then the gay webs were abuzz! over the incident.  We personally think it was just Al throwing in an extra “Anderson” into a sentence that was making a more rhetorical statement to a general “you,” meaning that he defends the rights of any individual to be a sinner. But sure, you could read it however you like, and Al’s old, and Anderson’s gay, and maybe Al didn’t realize that it’s like this whole open secret thing that Anderson likes dick and he wasn’t supposed to be mentioning it.  Anyway, the full clip, after the jump.