Model, so must we whittle the visual bedlam down to ten images in order to bring you your week in gay photos!
CLICK THE IMAGES FOR FULL-SIZED VERSIONS.
10. Karl Lagerfeld Makes A Playlist To Jam To While Committing Grand Theft Auto.
Karl Lagerfeld’s quest for immortal ubiquitousness continues, as he appears as a DJ character in the newest version of the popular misogynistic teen video game Grand Theft Auto. Famous for his collection of iPods and specially appointed iPod assistant, Karl will likely soundtrack all the hooker-raping, car-stealing action of the game with the most up-and-coming British bands. Video games just got a little bit gayer. (Fashionista)
9. Liev Schreiber Makes Another Coastal Stride Toward Bearhood.
Another paparazzi photo from the beaches of Australia provides documentation of Liev Schreiber’s eventual process toward becoming a total bear. He may not be actually gay, but he’s probably just landed himself enough fans in the SOMA district to qualify him for an honorary membership. (Jezebel)
8. Everybody Suddenly Remembers How Hot Tony Ward Was, Wonders What Happened To Him, And Gets A New Photo Proving He’s Still A Total Babe.
And he has a beard now! The bear community wins another slot in our countdown, and an acknowledgment that aging gracefully gay now means a future in fur. (Dude Tube Online)
6. Rosie O’Donnell Beats The Shit Out Of Her 12-Year-Old Son, Proving Lesbians Can Be As Brutal As Our Stepdad.
Okay, so she claims this is all made up by the tabloids, we doubt she would ever strike a child because she’s obsessed with them, and now she’s suing the Globe (for attention), but we still think it’s a hilarious photograph. SO SUE US! (NY Post)
5. New Children’s Book Features Gay Marriage Between Guinea Pigs.
FINALLY, WE’RE ALLOWED TO RECRUIT 5-YEAR-OLDS INTO OUR CULT! (After Elton)
4. Oprah Winfrey and the Pregnant Tranny Compare Baby Bumps.
Seriously, is Oprah looking huge these days or WHAT?! That pregnant man is a bodybuilder for crying out loud! In any event, FOX News thinks this parent-to-be should kill himself along with “the little Ewok she’s gonna crap out” in what is their most fair and balanced reportage in at least two days. (Towleroad)
3. Elton John Endorses Hillary Clinton Too Late Like Only a Bitchy Frenemy Would.
“I never cease to be amazed at the misogynistic attitude of some people in this country,” Elton said before shoving Hillary violently into the orchestra pit so he could shake Bill’s hand. Oh, we kid. (Reuters)
2. Woody Harrelson Shows Us His Hot, White, Middle-Aged Ass.
And we love every confusing, backside-only minute of it.
1. SlickItUp.com Candy Flips FranÃ§ois Sagat Into A New Ad Campaign, And If We Could Love Them Any More, We’d Marry Them.
But that would be illegal, you faggot! (Fleshbot)
A source has leaked details to The Sword about a new fucky fucky extension that will not be beholden to any of Apple's pearl-clutching restrictions.
I don't take sex seriously enough to commit to a Master/slave dynamic, so instead I'll just read this new blog written by a 39-year-old British sub slut named Fang.
1. You know it's a leather orgy when everyone takes a moment between foreplay and fucking so they can put their clothes back on.
When I discovered that a friend of mine trims his chest hair, I told him to think of the children in Africa who have no chest hair to shave in the first place. Now I've found a fur-obsessed Photoshopper who is helming the good fight against body shavers everywhere.
The hypothesis: you can put a shitload of condoms on a dildo. The conclusion: you can put a shitload of condoms on a dildo.