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You already knew that lollipops are like penises, but did you know that, more specifically, they are like penises lodged up Cole Streets’ asshole?

The latest iteration of Mike Diamond’s way-too-recognizable existence includes douching before an abusive date and conflating sexual desire with bitter hatred.

The smoove male model said that if he had to choose a male sex partner, he’d top President Obama. Now that’s a power bottom.

Are you tired of Current TV’s Bryan Safi yet? Me neither.

Spandex guru and Slick It Up designer David Mason calls him “the world’s most amazing fetishist.” His name is Alex Kovas, and he will make your eye sockets hurt.

A hot, dewy French boy was inaugurated into the world of porn with a baptism of Rafael Alencar’s man fluids. The behind-the-scenes footage is below.

Shane Mercado’s remake of Beyonce’s Single Ladies has reached 2.7 million views and launched a movement. But did you know Shane also dances for tips? Below, the second installment in a series that follows the drunk twink go-go boiz at Splash Campus Thursdays in NYC.

For Titan’s upcoming Bound and Beaten, Tony Buff paired up with new exclusive David Anthony to torture porn newbie Rico, who is Tony’s real-life “San Francisco boy.” I’m loving Tony and David, but someone get Rico a muffler, please.

The fagtastic Sword correspondent Matt Siegel recreates a painful interview between two ridiculous women. Though to Tyra’s credit, it can’t be easy to sit through an interview when GLAAD’s crusty, fungal tongue is lodged up your asshole.

Tony and Francesco had never met before they arrived to the set of Arabesque 2. Their buttocks had never met each other either. So they decided to ditch their boyfriends and duck into the woods for an unveiling.

Matt Dallas — famous for his lead role in Kyle XY and for reportedly having sex with fellow hot gay actor Jonathan Bennett — collaborated with some mud and a shovel to make some fucky art.

Campus Thursdays at Splash NYC once told a 50-year-old man to put his shirt back on because he was old. Now, the club is promoting their poultry-like stripper hotties with video go-go boy diaries. So let’s meet Rowan!

“Seriously. Do you really want to know how big my shit was? And if I liked grande latte at Starbuck coffee?” Francois asks in his latest video. The answer is yes, obviously. But too bad. He’s still not joining Twitter.

On the set of Raging Stallion’s Arabesque 2, Damien Crosse lets slip his real voice. You will not believe your ears.

A new pilot for a gay porn reality series wants to show you what happens when porn stars stop being polite, and start getting real…drunk.

In an interview with themselves, Zack Randall and Derek Rivero insist that they do not beat each other up, except for when they’re beating each other up.

On the wine country set of Arabesque 2, Francesco D’Macho — who is so hot he makes me want to hurt myself — talked about popping his anal cherry with olive oil. I’m guessing it was extra virgin.

Top model Sean O’Pry has such a pretty face that I just want to fuck it and frame it. In his model diary for NY Mag, the James Dean doppelganger talks about his Yorkie (gay!) and his cigarette addiction (gay!).

Florida became the Where The Sun Don’t Shine State for a night when a flock of strippers and fuck puppies invaded the Boardwalk Bar in Ft. Lauderdale. Everyone showed off their nipples, but nobody was able to lactate.

Here’s Diesel showing off his “patented” ass-fucking positions with the help of an assistant who just might be even skinnier than I am.

Damien Crosse dreams of coming back to life as a urinal. Until then, he has Spaniards like Jean Franko, Martin Mazza and hubby Francesco D’Macho to do things like piss on him and fuck him.

The gay cultural anthropologist has had too many hook-ups with losers like “the guy who asked me to indulge his ’pretend I’m sleeping and rape me scenario’ and then warned me not to cum on his sheets (‘It’s hard to find a decent laundromat in New York’ he whined).”

Al Gore’s Current.tv is good for two things: getting American women sentenced to North Korean labor camps, and funding Bryan Safi’s funny little videos. His latest is below.

Iconic porn star Aiden Shaw and his 10-inch-cock have written a couple songs about fun things like loneliness, scum and hatred. The singer is Nina Silvert, and the music videos for the songs unfortunately contain beer and breasts instead of cum and urethra.

Enclosed herewith: a second picture of the outline of Taylor Lautner’s penis through his pants, and behind-the-scenes video from his Teen Vogue photo shoot, which is fun to watch if you pause it when his mouth is open and imagine skull-fucking him (after he turns 18 in February, of course).

“And I’m in my diaper and in my pink Mickey’s… And I wanted to tell the world that I’m a fag. Yes I’m a fag. Yes I’m a sissy fag. And I wear my diaper…look at my bottom in my diaper, yes, isn’t that cute? Yes, oh, isn’t that cute? And I suck my thumb a lot?”

That brilliant aggre-gay-tor Kenneth in the (212) unearthed this overlooked footage from an iconic gay photographer’s four-year jaunt with the world’s most beautiful men. It’s so hot it’s sad.

The Sword caught up with David Taylor and Cole Streets on the set of Raging Stallion’s Focus/Refocus to talk about turn-offs like bad breath and drunk Sword editors.

Why are Matan Shalev and Rafael Alencar beating each other up in a bathroom? That’s a good question. With a cameo by mr. Pam’s well-manicured fingernails.

Get in touch with your inner sex offender and enjoy this really fucked-up video.

The porn star escort’s forehead had penetrative sex with a needle recently. Enjoy the hardcore video below.

Dorrough Music, a smiley rapper we’d fuck, has released a track that we think contains a hidden message about fucking cummy raw asshole. As far as bareback lingo goes, is “Ice Cream Paint Job” the new “Creampie”?

Enjoy this face morph roundup of Hollywood’s leading men from the past 80 years. They all look like homos! (Pictured at left is a James Dean & Marlon Brando soup that I want to pour down my pants.)

That gay Jew from Bravo asked Levi Johnston whether he’d ever pose naked and just how much he liked being the object of homos’ erections. The video is below.

The laptops in this video are obviously fake, but our hard-on right now is totally real.

The wisdom in this how-to video for gay whores includes when not to update your Facebook status, why it’s not good to talk about bowel movements on a first date and how to escape quickly the next morning when your cute dinner partner turns out to be bad in bed.

Gay hookers everywhere have a new competitor in Manhattan’s Townhouse Spa, which offers facials with synthesized human sperm. For more money, we wonder whether they’d just go ahead and shove that shit down our throat.

Your two favorite filthy co-hosts visited Steamworks on a sunny Tuesday morning to stalk Samuel Colt, Lou Cass and some pervy jail-bait employees.

Tim & Roma went to Steamworks and hung out by the glory holes with two baby-faced employees to talk about slings and sucking dick.