Seattle, Washington
Stan’s Adult Superstore
9630 16th Ave SW
(206) 762-3299
Batteries not included. Not that you’ll need them — this toy runs on meth.
In the Mood
1085 Buddington Road
(860) 445-4303
Gay Sex Cards by Kheper Games
Almost as hot as Gay Sex Scrabble.
Lincoln, Nebraska
Adult Book & Cinema
921 O St.
(402) 435-9323
Blank canvasses include “Limpy,” “Stiffy,” “Hoody” and, pictured, “Lefty.”
The Pleasure Chest
156 7th Ave S
(212) 242-2158
Rocks Off Naughty Boy Prostate Stimulator
Miniature prostate and perineum stimulator. And no, we do not know what a perineum is.
San Francisco, CA
Does Your Mother Know?
4141 18th St
(415) 864-3160
Is Santa not calling you back because you wouldn’t let him stick his head in, just for one second? Keep his memory alive with these.
Annex Adult Video Store
6767 East 38th Street
(317) 549-3522
Doc Johnson Tie Your Own Cockring (red)
Because nothing makes us crave piggish sex like an upside down AIDS ribbon.
Grand Junction, Colorado
Stan’s Adult Superstore
639 24 Rd.
(970) 243-4112
Screaming O “Bullet” Mini Vibrator
We use these things like tampons.
Adult Arcade & Video
3920 West 65th St.
(501) 565-2020
Liquid Virgin: Vaginal Tightening Cream
We think you can make the coginitive leap here. (And yes, this is a hint.)
Phoenix, Arizona
Adult Shoppe
2345 W. Holly Ave
(602) 253-7126
“Happy holidays honey! Love you! Now here’s something for your flaccid penis problem.”
Inserection Adult Fantasy Store
5110 University Blvd W
(904) 730-0754
This desensitizes the anal lining to make fucking less painful. We find that rufies get the trick done, too.
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