“It would be very sophisticated and urban…and I would do the food”

That’s what a gay man’s mom tells the NY Times about what she has in store for his gay wedding, now that he can get gay married in New York. Do all gay people want to get gay married though? No, they don’t.

Some are opposed to the idea of gay marriage, which stands in stark contrast to what you read on the gay blogs or see on the gay MSNBC about gay people loving gay marriage so much. One of these gay people (from the photo on the left) isn’t just opposed to gay marriage, he doesn’t “understand” gay marriage:

Mr. Breslow, who calls himself queer rather than gay, philosophically opposes marriage. “I don’t understand the concept of legalized monogamy and normalcy,” said Mr. Breslow, who has a brother, Jacob, also gay. “My brother and I both studied queer theory.”

Oh, brother.

While I have no desire to get gay married, gay people who need to go on record saying that they oppose gay marriage on “philosophical” grounds are the worst. Do you really not “understand” the “concept” of monogamy and normalcy or do you just think it makes you sound interesting to say something like that? I don’t understand (or give a shit about) “queer theory,” but you don’t see me saying so. Well, except for just now.

But the mom (his stepmom, actually) is even worse:

His stepmother, Lorraine Gray, won’t take no for an answer. “I don’t have any girls,” said Ms. Gray, 52, a psychotherapist in Oakland, Calif. Never mind that she also has two other sons, 18 and 22, who are straight. “My gay kids are more fun than my straight ones,” she said.

Comparing your gay son to a girl and then saying your other straight sons are boring!

Jesus fucking Christ:

To appease her, Mr. Breslow is willing to entertain the notion of a wedding-like celebration, which he sees as a party to celebrate his relationship.

“But I don’t want a proper wedding,” he added. “I want it to be really queer and outrageous and angry, with a punk-rock drag queen playing hardcore music and people being naked.”

Ms. Gray has a slightly different vision: “It would be very sophisticated and urban. And I would do the food, which would be very foodie California: maybe a mix of Jewish, which we are, and Dominican, which Dan is. Everything would be lovely and sophisticated and not tacky.”

[The Onion New York Times]


13 thoughts on ““It would be very sophisticated and urban…and I would do the food””

  1. I never felt the need for gay marriage. Just give us the bennies and let us live our lives screwing who we see fit.

  2. While I don`t need and want marriage for myself (and still think financial benefits should be for everyone who raises kids and not because you signed some document) I always understood why other gay people want to be able to marry as well.
    And if a queer theory guy/girl/inbetween thinks, that that should be opposed it seems they haven`t understood a thing about how people are, were and will always be, regardless of the funny little world inside their, more than obvious, “queer” heads.

  3. So some new age douche bag studied Queer Theory and thinks he has some progressive view of the world. What on earth is queer theory anyway? Hasn’t any homosexual, I mean queer, learnt that anyway?

  4. Mr Breslow sounds like a pretentious wanker, but the stepmother sounds like a real piece of work. Hope her psychotherapy degree comes in handy for sorting out the self esteem issues she’s given to her straight sons.

  5. So, we get it, those who do get married are the kinds who get fairy tales alive, while those who don’t are bitter haters. I mean, it’s pretty simple to me: you have to be in a relationship to even consider getting married. To me, this dude, and you, Zach, need to meet someone you care more about than yourself and that’s when you’ll desire the want for marriage.

  6. Clearly, people who are against marriage on philosophical grounds don’t have any property or heirs or estate planning concerns. I.E., broke hipsters.

  7. “…or do you just think it makes you sound interesting to say something like that?”

    That’s the long and the short of it. Some people just want to be “edgy” and “current” and so nonconformist that anything otherwise is seen as uncool and selling out.

    “Queer rather than gay” is the icing on this BS cake. Oh krai mor, hipster kid.

  8. Different people want different things. It only becomes tense when some think their goals and ideals are better than other people’s goals and ideals.

  9. Hasn’t there been like 4 dozen gay themed independent films based on this article? Oh…This is a NEW article? Really? The blend of apathy and “no one wants us- so we will make out own rules” crap, seems so ten years ago.

    Monogamy might not be your thing but a lot of gay men grew up wanting the fairy tale -excuse the pun- so why the fuck shouldn’t they have it if they want.

    I’d also point out that marriage and monogamy don’t have to be mutual exclusive. Lots of married people aren’t monogamous and lots of people only have sex with one partner for years (shudder). As my uncle said to me, “I don’t know why I ever got married. It has seriously affected the number of women I fucked this year. I better get a nice tax refund to make up for it.”

    That is the reason that we should be allowed to get married for the same legal and financial benefits in which everyone should be entitled.

    As for monogamy, that is between you and your partner. Being married doesn’t chain your partner’s bed anymore than reading Nietzsche while listening to Nine Inch Nails makes you a nihilist.

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