Gay marriages in the Times tapered off earlier this year, but with the possibility of the anti-gay marriage (Proposition 8) initiative in California, there’s been another surge in couples eager to be recognized in the eyes of the state, as well as to collect on the god-given right to bone china with gold trim.
Today, we celebrate the love of Kent Karosen and Brian Hauserman. The lily-white-collar couple married in Provincetown at a spa (read: bathhouse) last weekend, but sadly their profile was a little sparse so we took a peak at their registry to see what it reveals about the charming young couple.
Registered at: Bloomingdale’s and Williams-Sonoma
Gayest Item: Vega Flutissimos by Baccarat
Not only are they rainbow colored (a trait shared with his hand-towels) these champagne glass are called “Flutissimos,” which translates as “extremely fluty.”
The Diet Plate: Christofle Tenere silverplate salad fork, $71
For the couple who survives on take-out sushi, Luna Bars and salmon caesars, the $71 dollar salad fork (requested 12, still needs 10) gives us a clue to priorities.
Item We’re Surprised They Didn’t Have: Kitchen Aid Mixer, $299
We’re sure the finance whiz and real-estate agent eat out more nights than not, but since the Kitchen Aid is one of those you buy when you do the granite counter-tops and install the Viking, we can’t believe they didn’t have it before. Even if it was just for show.
Most Expensive Item: Swiss Army Suitcase: $449.00
It’s been marked down a few hundred, but we’d rather get them a gift card for Rentboy.
Least Expensive Item: Lauren Lawton Wash cloth in Lily White, $5.99
Even the post-coital wipes are made of Egyptian cotton.
Item That Will End Up as a Sex Toy: Cole & Mason Electric salt mill, $59.95
Most Snickerworth Request: The Meat Pounder, hands down.
A source has leaked details to The Sword about a new fucky fucky extension that will not be beholden to any of Apple's pearl-clutching restrictions.
I don't take sex seriously enough to commit to a Master/slave dynamic, so instead I'll just read this new blog written by a 39-year-old British sub slut named Fang.
1. You know it's a leather orgy when everyone takes a moment between foreplay and fucking so they can put their clothes back on.
When I discovered that a friend of mine trims his chest hair, I told him to think of the children in Africa who have no chest hair to shave in the first place. Now I've found a fur-obsessed Photoshopper who is helming the good fight against body shavers everywhere.
The hypothesis: you can put a shitload of condoms on a dildo. The conclusion: you can put a shitload of condoms on a dildo.