There’s more than one reason that Sagat’s shooting high-fashion: aside from his stellar physique, he can smile with his eyes. Here, he does his best squint-and-stare then dishes on his recent encounter with supermodel Kate Moss. Ooh la la!
Because we don’t have time, the way our friends at Fleshbot do, to review all the porn that comes across our desks, The Sword has asked our friends in academia for a little help making sense of the latest porn titles.* First off, Titan Media’s Telescope, a delicate rumination on the power of the gaze/gays dichotomy, starring Diesel Washington and modeled on Brian DePalma’s post-Hitchcockian thriller Body Double.
What a week it’s been for fitness guru-made-whipping post Richard Simmons! Not only did he get to spend an entire day trying to stop Jimmy Kimmel from being disgusting for the sake of laffs, but he also got majorly criticized by gay journalist Brent Hartinger for setting a bad example by allowing people to ridicule him… or something. He may be annoying, and we might actually hate him (no, seriously, we think we hate him) but that doesn’t undermine the fact that he’s helped a lot of fatties and moms shed their chins in exchange for new leases on life. If he wants to cash in on his Hi-NRG character at this stage of his life, who can blame him?
Residents of Hong Kong were up in arms recently over one of Djimon Hounsou’s Calvin Klein underwear advertisements emblazoned across the side of the 15-year-old Ritz Carlton Hotel. Cited as “visual pollution” due to its proximity to public parks and historical landmarks, the advertisement features a statuesque, ebony Djimon kicking back against a white wall in a pair of skin-tight CK briefs. The campaign, launched last July, gained positive attention in the states for its positive use of a black model in a major fashion ad. Watchdog groups cleared the ad as not indecent, allowing it to remain erect (no pun intended) until April 15th when the whole building will be demolished to make room for offices anyway.
Barack and Hillary are still spending campaign ad dollars and making grand statements to woo gay voters in the remaining primaries, in particular in Pennsylvania where the primary is scheduled for April 22. Between the many college campuses and the gay-friendly metropolises of Philadelphia and Pittsburgh*, the candidates are banking on a large enough gay voting block that it could mean the difference of a state-wide majority at the polls.
Could hairy porn pup RJ Danvers be the next porn star to follow stars like Lucas and Sagat and break into high-fashion? The little bottom who can’t say no submitted his profile to V Magazine‘s online model contest and hit the top slot yesterday. Judging from the fan feedback, his most attractive asset is his refusal to shave his chest hair-and they haven’t even seen his ass. While even his most ardent supporters think the industry will make short work of his fur, RJ’s dreaming big:
This clip from The Muppet Show features a bunch of viking muppets singing the Village People classic “In the Navy,” all while ostensibly raping and pillaging a little muppet village. The use of this song on a children’s show should be proof positive that no one understood that the Village People were big ‘mos and that this song was a thinly veiled celebration of butt-fucking below deck.
Care of The Sword’s tireless editors, we bring you this roundup (by
no means complete, or even-handed) of stuff going on for those of the
homo persuasion this weekend in the two meccas we currently have
bandwidth to cover, San Francisco and New York. Check back soon to see
us cover more gay urban centers near you (sorry, Cheyenne, we may never
get to you).
Our heavily editorialized listings after the jump…
Crazy James chats with resident drag queen Ginger Beef about how he’s going to pay the rent. Could it be from hooking? We think so. Cue the porn music… Looks like Crazy James’s character “Alex” is also gay-for-pay.
We know, we know: You’re hungover from last night, can’t stand to hear one more thing about Marc Jacobs and are amazed at how much air time the pregnant man is getting. Thankfully, you’re about to be rewarded for your endless consumption of gay-centric news. We offer up yet again a month’s worth of free porn in return for your amazingly high score on your gay news mid-terms. It may not be that Ed Hardy jacket you’ve been saving up for, but it’ll have to do.
We’re hearing of a temporary ban on castration in Thailand but we didn’t know castration was quite so rampant to begin with. Lured by web ads promising softer skin and increased femininity, presumably transgendered teen boys in Thailand are seeking castration from back alley doctors in large numbers, prompting the country’s Health Ministry to institute a ban on the procedure in all hospitals and clinics for all “non-medical” reasons. We’re sort of curious about these medical reasons for castration too-we’ve heard of it in cases of testicular or prostate cancer, but are there others?
With all the vitriol and finger pointing that came from Jay Leno’s request for Ryan Phillippe’s “gayface,”
we’re wishing Jay had done his homework: there’s plenty of Phillippe gayface to go around, as these clips from One Life to Live demonstrate.
Pregnant pauses? Check! Far off stare? You bet! Wistful sax solos? But of course! After the jump, a short video history of Ryan Phillippe’s gay face.
Every hundred years (of Madonna’s lifetime), the planets align, the earth reaches a precise distance from a black hole of total vapidity, and the biggest divas of a generation-Mariah, Kylie, Janet and Madonna-all release albums at the same time. While numbers say one thing, we couldn’t help wondering where each oft-impersonated female entertainer stands in the heart of those who matter: the gays. We served the following question to our polling panel of around two dozen bitchy homosexuals: Who’s THE FIERCEST of them all? The results, in all of their critical vainglory, after the jump.
In case you’re too young to have seen or heard of it, An American Family aired on PBS in 1973 and was the first reality TV show. This is a clip from Episode 2 in which oldest son Lance, who was a big ‘mo and obsessed with all things Warhol, moves to New York to live in the Chelsea Hotel and get a job at Interview magazine. It’s got some snooze-inducing PBS documentary pacing, but check out that groovy blouse!
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Channel One exclusive and GayVN winner for Best Newcomer Blake Riley showed off his gymnastic talents at this weekend’s NakedSword photoshoot. Take note, all you parents of teenage boy cheerleaders: It’s a slippery slope to porn.
“There was this scene where Popeye was captured by Brutus, tied up with no shoes or socks on, and Brutus starts tickling his feet. I remember getting a little boner,” Broadway idol Cheyenne Jackson tells The Advocate in this month’s issue, like a sick freak. Personally, we don’t like hearing about anyone’s little boner around here, and secondly, who gets turned on by cartoon characters with peculiar body proportions? Oh wait, we just didn’t read the article because it was boring and he was referring to when he was 7 years old. And oh wait, porn stars are cartoon characters with peculiar body proportions.
Since we started this series we’ve been trying to wrap our heads around the idea that, back in the day before AIDS and parades there used to be all these gays in the public eye, but the public just wasn’t very, shall we say, cosmopolitan. Like one of our mothers recently said in re: Truman Capote, “He was just a real character, you know. Theatrical,” and in re: Paul Lynde, “He was gay?” And to boot: “You know who else I was just thinking of, and I think I just realized about them maybe last year: The Village People. Went right over my head.”
While the awards were going on on the other side of the glass, The Sword’s guerrilla photographer Patrik and mr. Pam were roping porn stars into the glass elevator for a few quick Polaroids–until security staff caught wind of it and busted us! Here’s a glimpse.
Each month at The Sword we scour the globe to bring you a selection of ten things to do for all you jet-setting homos who might actually be traveling to one of these far flung places for business, or pleasure, or to buy a baby. For April, we’ve got all kinds of shit to show you, including a film fest and “Zombie Slumber Party” in Belfast, a doll party in Paris, and something at a bar called Arty-Farty in Tokyo. Oh, and also another one of those White Parties …more
Our favorite porn Gremlin may not have much longer to live. We got word today that his contract holder, Cockboys.com, will be feeding the twink to the GHB-crazy muscle queens at the White Party like so much chum to sharks. Cockyboys announced today that they’ll be bringing lithe Tory, along with Jesse Santana and five of their spring lambs to the event, ostensibly to promote a Cockboys model search. It sounds like the old virgin/volcano sacrifice narrative without, of course, the virgins.
In case you were having Christian Siriano withdrawl, we offer this march-inducing round-up of the latest transgendered headlines. It’s a fierce trans mess!
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Palm Springs
April 18-21, All Day
Depending on your system of values, if you’ve never been to The White Party in Palm Springs you’re either missing the time of your life or a chance to walk right up to the precipice overlooking Hades and catch a glimpse before running in the other direction, terrified. An army of gays descends on the desert to frolic in white swim trunks and dance to diva trance over this gay holiday weekend. You’ll either go home with one of the hottest go-go boys in SoCal, or you’ll end up shoeless and sauced on GHB, hitchhiking 12 hours later with a sunburn and a planet of regret on your dislocated shoulders. GAYS GONE WILD! www.jeffreysanker.com
Warm Up
Paris
April 12
All we know about this is that it looks like a children’s Saturday morning cartoon crawled into a k-hole and force-fed us ecstasy while our eardrums got blown out by happy hardcore/French house/cheesy ’80s mashups and that seems pretty, actually, okay yes: exciting. www.myspace.com/ladollyparty
Waterfront Hall
Belfast
April 11-13, Times Vary
The Film Festival in Belfast, Ireland may not be targeted at Gays and Lesbians but they will be screening Bruce LaBruce’s Otto; or, Up With Dead People. In an act of similar gore, Trans and the Waterfront are putting on their own screening series entirled “Dark Water”, showcasing some of the goriest zombie and b-movies ever to hit B-fast. Bring your pillows on Saturday the 12th for an all-night horror fest. Hopefully there will be a hot goth guy to grab onto during all the scary parts.www.transbelfast.com
They once performed a “living sculpture” in which they invited fellow British gay artist David Hockney over for dinner, along with several other friends, took photographs, printed limited editions of the menu and invitations and created other documentation like an index sheet of stains from each of the foods and beverages consumed that night. Gilbert & George, who have been making art together since the late 60s, are now being featured in a retrospective at San Francisco’s DeYoung museum which was organized by the Tate Modern in London.
What happens when you get seven exclusives from seven different studios together in the same room? A good deal of penis touching, it seems. The boys came together as part of a boxing themed photo shoot for NakedSword by Greg Thompson whose extensive work with Chi Chi LaRue and other studios has provided more than a few scandalous coffee-table books.
Serpentine Gallery
London
Through April 13, 9 PM
This overwhelming tribute to one of gay and independent cinemas most revered auteurs draws to a close this month, so you’d better hurry and check it out while you can. Containing both paintings and film work, the exhibition immerses the participant in a reappraisal of Jarman’s work and includes several rarely-before-seen clips from the artist’s Super-8 archive. The exhibit accompanies Julien’s new documentary on Jarman, Derek, narrated by Tilda Swinton. www.serpentinegallery.org
Arty-Farty
2/F 33 Kyutei Blvd, Shinjuku
Tokyo
April 5, 9 PM
This party happens at a bar called Arty-Farty in the Shinjuku neighborhood of Tokyo, and beyond that all we know is that it costs 2,000 yen, it starts at 9 PM and someone named Ceyren is performing. Also, we’re told they give free refills if you bring your empty cocktail cup back the bar? Craziness. Info here (in Japanese).
Honolulu, HI
April 3
Jungle Skin is the new exotic-themed (racist?) party at the renowned homo-homestead Hula’s Cafe. This Thursday, shed your traditional skin in lieu of a leopard-print man-kini and help resident pretty boy Kaimi become “Mr. Fashionista 2008”-OR-get really drunk and party to the sounds of DJ Honu and participate in some of the night’s free giveaways. If you’re in Hawaii this April, there’s no excuse not to be as naked as possible, and this might be the perfect precursor to Cher’s birthday party later in the month (the 21st to be flamingly exact, and all Taurus birthdays get in free). Mahalo!
www.hulas.com.
And no, this is not an April Fool’s joke. A grassroots organization called The Presidential Memorial Commission of San Francisco is collecting signatures to sponsor a ballot initiative that would rename one of the city’s wastewater treatment plants in honor of lame duck President George W. Bush. 60% of San Franciscans already voted to approve an initiative in November 2006 advising the US Congress to impeach President Bush.
We’re not sure what we like most about this clip from Holla Back Boi: the man wearing a baseball cap in bed, the never seen “pretty” view of “the ATL” (which may just be of a neighboring building) or the fish-eye lens used to capture the banality of the random hotel room where this 2007 Pitbull release was shot. Dirty South, indeed.