In honor of Monday, we thought we’d revive this oldie but goodie.
A grad student made this little short, splicing together some vintage Muppet Show footage with Peaches’ “Fuck the Pain Away” so that we can all appreciate a slightly more updated, bawdier Piggy telling us all how she really gets through the night when Kermit scorns her.
Enough with marriages already! And we just heard that George Takai is hurrying to get hitched too. Anyway, last night the Desperate Housewives finale featured GayBC’s second gay nuptials of the month-after the Brothers & Sisters ceremony-making it, hands down, the gayest fucking network on television. (Without Project Runway and forgetting that dumb dancing show, Bravo barely even fags it up anymore.) But Wisteria Lane’s resident homos Bob and Lee got virtually none of the pomp, circumstance or airtime of B&S‘s Kevin ‘n’ Scotty, with their ceremony taking place off-screen and just a bit of the pre- and post-wedding drama making it into the two-hour show.
America’s top drag queen has announced her much-anticipated return to the tube in the form of her new competitive series “RuPaul’s Drag Race.” The reality series will feature RuPaul in a Tyra Banks-esque role as hostess and presiding judge over a gaggle of shrieking queens who duke it out to be the nation’s next drag superstar.
“Tell Tyra that the Queen has returned, and while you’re at it have Heidi clear the runway,” RuPaul said in a video statement. “I’m going to pump some ‘realness’ into reality. To be a winner on this show the contestants need to be a fashion designer, an American Idol, and a top model all rolled up into one. And they definitely have to be smarter than a fifth grader.”
Care of The Sword’s tireless editors, we bring you this roundup (by
no means complete, or even-handed) of stuff going on for those of the
homo persuasion this weekend in the two meccas we currently have
bandwidth to cover, San Francisco and New York. Check back soon to see
us cover more gay urban centers near you (sorry, Cheyenne, we may never
get to you).
Our heavily editorialized listings after the jump…
The 61st Annual Cannes Film Festival kicked off today in the south of France with red carpet celebrities, industry honchos piling into all the town’s resorts, and the erection of billboards advertising Hollywood’s forthcoming gay-ass projects. Generating the most buzz today was the giant-sized rotating billboard for the dark anal-sexedy I ♥ You Phillip Morris. Filming primarily in (where else?) Key West, the movie is based on the true story of Steven Russell (Carey), a married father who lands in the Texas criminal justice system only to fall in love with his cell mate (MacGregor) who is set free, prompting Russell to escape from jail five times to join his new beloved. Photos surfaced earlier this month of the duo filming, clad in pastels, aboard a dinghy boat and of Carrey wearing a bunch of ridiculous Gianni Versace. The photos await after the jump, along with the billboard. With this major film and the Milk biopic both hitting theaters later this year, get ready for a majorly gay ’08.
SPOILER ALERT! Guest Editor Flynn DeMarco (a.k.a. Fruit Brute), who spends his days as Editor-in-Chief of gaygamer.net, did a little moonlighting for us touring around Liberty City (the fictional New York equivalent of Grand Theft Auto IV) to see what there is around town for the fags-besides getting called faggot by the other characters. You may be surprised! See his quick and dirty work after the jump.
Because porn and various images of perviness are constantly coming across our desks, an image like this one just falls in with the average dildo monster (NSFW, duh) or Tory Mason covershoot. Gawker calls it disturbing, Copyranter calls it “scary [and] wince-inducing,” but for some reason we were just like, “oh, huh… nice abs.”
Decide for yourself after the jump.
We recently took up the subject of Chuck Palahniuk’s gayness, which though it wasn’t news to us was probably news to some straight boy fans out there, and Chuck sort of flipped out on the Advocate interviewer who tried to dig a little deeper into the timeline of Chuck’s semi-closeting himself. Anyway, now he has a new book coming out about the making of the world’s biggest gang-bang flick “World Whore Three,” a story loosely based on that of Grace Quek (a.k.a. Annabel Chong) who once staged a gang-bang in which she had sex with 251 men over the course of 70 hours. In Palahniuk’s version, Cassie Wright is a porn star trying to make a name for herself, so she is attempting to break the record for “serial fornication” by doing it with 600 guys (the novel largely centers on the stories of three guys waiting their turn).
However François Sagat tries to recede from the spotlight, people are still going to take notice when he gets naked, paints himself gold, and posts it all over the internet. Just as we were scared we’d never get to see Bai Ling anymore after her stint on Dancing with the Stars ended only to relentlessly encounter her in varying stages of public nudity ever since, we can still rely on François to always bring us a freaky new look to get us through the week.
In this very special Mother’s Day edition of the East Village gay porn sitcom, tranny mess Ginger Beef chats about her bitch of a mother—and in the actual episode, ‘straight’ go-go boy Martin does something dirty in a men’s room.
See the full episode at DirtyTricks.tv.
Care of The Sword’s tireless editors, we bring you this roundup (by
no means complete, or even-handed) of stuff going on for those of the
homo persuasion this weekend in the two meccas we currently have
bandwidth to cover, San Francisco and New York. Check back soon to see
us cover more gay urban centers near you (sorry, Cheyenne, we may never
get to you).
Our heavily editorialized listings after the jump…
Out actor Robert Gant graces the cover of the latest issue of Instinct magazine to discuss filling the debonair shoes of the archetypal spy hero with feet more accustomed to treading light in loafers. In the new here! Network original movie Kiss Me Deadly, Gant co-stars with ex-Lindsay-Lohan Shannen Doherty as an ex-spy who gets drawn back into the game. Aside from giving a lot of inspirational one-liners about how we should each awaken our “authentic power as an LGBTQ person”
Last night’s episode of Gossip Girl not only had two major outings-the predictably fey younger brother to Serena, Eric van der Woodsen (pictured) and his rehab boyfriend, Asher Hornsby, from a rival prep school-but it also had so much high-octane bitchiness, queen bee drama, hilarious beard references to Vanessa Hudgens and Katie Holmes, and sheer camp that the outings and gay slurs were actually out-gayed by all the straight content on the show. When young Jenny Humphrey’s house of cards came crashing down as soon as Gossip Girl blogged that her boyfriend’s a ‘mo, the only condolence she got from her besties was “Now you know how Vanessa Hudgens feels.” SNAP!
Contemporary gaming has evolved way beyond Donkey Kong and Tetris, and some of the hi-res games out there feature illustrated depictions of the male form that rival the best of Northstar or Harry Bush. We asked some trusted gay gamers who they’d role-play with if given the chance, and a few early leads surfaced. A majority, 65% of the panel said they’d bed down with the Prince of Persia. There was a faction for Darrius from Mortal Kombat, some minimal support for Mario. We took a look at those and several other strapping hunks from the video game universe.
We happened across this gay German man’s blog, All About Strength, while doing searches on YouTube under “shirtless” (as is our wont). We absolutely love all the footage from German TV, like the oiled and pec-dancing sitcom stud, or the random episode of a soap opera featuring hot young men frenching each other way more passionately than, say, our very own Luke and Noah (clip after the jump). We also dig the balls-out gratuitousness of clip after clip of muscle studs, and the bizarre header image featuring Big Ben, the Hollywood sign,
Care of The Sword’s tireless editors, we bring you this roundup (by
no means complete, or even-handed) of stuff going on for those of the
homo persuasion this weekend in the two meccas we currently have
bandwidth to cover, San Francisco and New York. Check back soon to see
us cover more gay urban centers near you (sorry, Cheyenne, we may never
get to you).
Our heavily editorialized listings after the jump…
ABC News conducted a little social experiment for 20/20 which aired on Friday in which they had two sets of actors, one a gay couple and one a lesbian couple, sitting on park benches and kissing in broad daylight. They tried this in two locations: Birmingham, Alabama and Verona, New Jersey. Guess what they found? While straight men tended to not mind seeing the pretty lesbos getting it on (shock!), many folks found the boys kissing to be distasteful, especially in the South.
Bestselling author of Fight Club and hero of semi-literate straight men everywhere, Chuck Palahniuk has finally, officially, come out of the closet to the gay press. In an interview currently online and being published in The Advocate‘s May issue, Chuck takes the interviewer on a tour of the Portland Memorial Mausoleum and claims he’s been “out for a million years,” however for the last decade of his literary fame-since the publication of that hyper-masculine yet deeply homoerotic tome Fight Club-Palahniuk has declined interviews with the gay press and avoided giving details about his personal life to other interviewers, either out of a desire for privacy or a desire to preserve his largely young, straight male readership.
The album leaked, either by accident or by design (fuck you Warner Brothers!), a week ago Sunday, but the real launch date for Madonna’s 98th studio album, Hard Candy, is April 29th. HX got to go to one of those official listening parties (this one it sounds like for just the gay press, led by famed publicist Liz Rosenberg) and since we only sometimes like Madonna and we weren’t invited, we’re just going to point you to Trenton Straube’s breathless and exhaustive notes on all the tracks, which are printed side by side with Madonna’s own notes on the songs.
Party Monster was on IFC last night, and it’s the weekend so we thought we’d take you back to the clublands of yesteryear, long before Christian Siriano popularized the use of ‘fierce’ and ‘tranny mess,’ with this clip from Joan Rivers’ talk show ca. 1993. Michael Alig, James St. James, Amanda Lepore and co. did the talk show circuit for a couple years, appearing on Geraldo five times and droning on about their own fabulousness and their collective quest for glamor and world domination.
Also, we just found Michael Alig’s MySpace page! Looks like he’s working on an autobiography called “Alig-ula” and he’s up for parole again in 2008, so look out kids!
Care of The Sword’s tireless editors, we bring you this roundup (by
no means complete, or even-handed) of stuff going on for those of the
homo persuasion this weekend in the two meccas we currently have
bandwidth to cover, San Francisco and New York. Check back soon to see
us cover more gay urban centers near you (sorry, Cheyenne, we may never
get to you).
Our heavily editorialized listings after the jump…
…And we were right! Oops! Did we spoil that for you? No, Kelly Rutherford did. The CW actress, who flawlessly portrays the best character on the show, Serena’s vain, Birkin-toting mother with a slutty grunge-era past, spilled the beans to Us Magazine in an exclusive video airing on their website. “Mom’s always the last to know,” she reasons in reference to her soon-to-be-outed on-screen son Eric van der Woodsen (played by Connor Paolo). So, Eric is totally gay, girl? “Yes, I think so,” Rutherford nods, in a hilarious realization that she’s probably said too much. “-We did… film it, so I do think, yes.”
Porn superstar Jenna Jameson was on The View last week promoting her new mainstream crossover attempt, Zombie Strippers. Watch as everyone pretends not to be uncomfortable with the porn queen in the room, as Elizabeth Hasselbeck’s eyes nearly pop out of her head from hatred, and if you listen close, you can hear Whoopi say, “I love you,” as she hugs Jenna hello.
The fundies managed to kill the softcore spank mag that was the Abercrombie & Fitch catalog a few years back, but that’s not where the story ends, gentlemen and pervs! It lives again, with photography by the venerable Bruce Weber, in Europe! We know, we know, a lot of good this does you and your mailbox full of L’Occitane catalogs and pictures of Hillary Clinton. But you can see a few of the photos of twunk model David Fair here and here. And honestly, if you’re over 30 you shouldn’t be shopping in this store anyway. You’re free to breeze in, sniff the greeters and purchase a gift for your nephew, but otherwise put the frayed shorts down and go back to Bloomingdales, dude. You’re not fooling anyone.
Former MTV executive Terrance Dean is publishing a no-holds-barred indictment of rap music’s biggest closet cases this May-could P. Diddy’s greatest nightmare be about to rear its ugly gayface? Hiding In Hip-Hop, published by Atria Books, is “filled with intrigue, sexy celebrity bed partners, abundance of drugs, and of course, the down low/gay men and celebrities in the entertainment industry.” We’ll see. For now, we offer up our predictions on who might be exposed for treading too lightly in their FILAs.
Madonna’s ceaseless promotion for her new album, Hard Candy, has had her gracing magazine covers with the world on her shoulders, hitting up boxing rings and working herself into a public sweat, and even vlogging creepy ultimatums to Perez Hilton. Indeed, it seems as though you can’t even swing around a big black dildo these days without thwacking the aged megalomaniac square in her chiseled jaw with it. The charts love her, while bloggers love to hate her, and now Dubai loves her so much they’re paying her $24 million to perform two concerts in the UAE (more than any performer has ever been paid to perform-ever… $133,000 per minute, in fact, assuming each show is 90 minutes).
Care of The Sword’s tireless editors, we bring you this roundup (by
no means complete, or even-handed) of stuff going on for those of the
homo persuasion this weekend in the two meccas we currently have
bandwidth to cover, San Francisco and New York. Check back soon to see
us cover more gay urban centers near you (sorry, Cheyenne, we may never
get to you).
Our heavily editorialized listings after the jump…
Following in the footsteps of such role models as Big Brother‘s Crazy James, Parental Control‘s Caleb Carter, and American Idol‘s gay stripper David Hernandez, it appears that Bravo TV’s Step It Up And Dance contestant Michael has a XXX secret buried beneath those tear-away pants as well-and it only took about a week to float to the blog surface! Mike, described in his bio as a “raw, beautiful and passionate performer who is in love with dance”, and whose resume boasts
-When they take a break from molesting them, that is. Ouch! ZZING! All facile low blows aside, it seems that while the Catholic Church isn’t accusing homosexuals of recruiting for new lifestyle converts, they’re spending their time… recruiting lifestyle converts. The Roman Catholic Archdiocese of New York is launching a full-tilt citywide ad campaign searching for new priests and the images of these brotherly pastors has us wondering if they’re preying on the closeted gays. Meanwhile,
Where did you see your first copy of Bob Mizer’s Physique Pictorial magazine? We’re betting that it wasn’t under your father’s bed, unless you’re former Stroke editor Christopher Harrity, or Suri Cruise. In the most recent issue of Unzipped, Harrity and homoerotic art collector Robert Mainardi discuss erotic artist Harry Bush (real name! true story!)-a tanned California counterpart to the cold and remote Tom of Finland. Not much leather here as a result, but plenty of blond boys.
…Talking about it, that is. Last week Sarah Jessica Parker was asked by Conan O’Brien if, like her sex columnist character Carrie Bradshaw, she was comfortable with talking openly about sex. SJP is not, as it happens. She lapses into a bunch of old-timey rhetoric, using terms like “things of an intimate nature” and “ribald” and even breaks out into a rash trying to explain her position.
Care of The Sword’s tireless editors, we bring you this roundup (by
no means complete, or even-handed) of stuff going on for those of the
homo persuasion this weekend in the two meccas we currently have
bandwidth to cover, San Francisco and New York. Check back soon to see
us cover more gay urban centers near you (sorry, Cheyenne, we may never
get to you).
Our heavily editorialized listings after the jump…
In the Moment, the web-only after-school special soap opera produced by the LA Gay & Lesbian Center, just debuted its second episode. The six-minute public-service drama depicts several WeHo singles and couples in situations that are meant to “stimulate dialogue” in the community about safe sex. The show’s intentions are good, and a few of the actors are cute, but c’mon people: If you’re going to cheat on your boyfriend or go cruising online or take someone home for a one-night-stand, enjoy it a little!
In light of the recent harassment being directed toward ex-NYSYNC member JC Chasez about his dubious sexuality, the notorious outing of his band mate Lance Bass last year, and the subsequent rise of a new generation of wholesome teenyboppers largely cultivated by Disney and Nickelodeon, we can’t help but notice some flaming red flags. We’re not just talking about Zac
If the Weinsteins really do wrest Heidi and company from Bravo! and overcome any lawsuits for moving it to Lifetime, the channel that dubs itself “television for women” is going to have to make some pretty quick changes… and we don’t just mean a trip to Thailand. Below, our vision for the channel’s new Wednesday night line-up:
OUT Magazine presents its 2nd annual “Power 50” list in this month’s issue of the magazine, counting down the 50 most powerful gays and lesbians in America based upon four criteria: “(1) political clout; (2) pop cultural resonance; (3) individual wealth; and (4) current personal profile.” “Current personal profile” is evidently a convenient catch-all for “things we at OUT Magazine think matter so we can rank these homos however we want to.” What else could explain, after all, the bizarre posturing of silent political funder Tim Gill at #3 when names like Suze Ormon, cover-boy Greg Berlanti, and Annie Leibovitz are much further down on the list? Talk show crybaby Ellen Degeneres topped the list this year after clocking in at #2 the first time around, due ostensibly to the fact that she crossed the picket line of the writers’ strike and also because she interviewed both democratic presidential candidates, a feat many others have also accomplished. She also cried over a dog and everybody talked about it! Now, that’s what real power is all about.
This clip from The Muppet Show features a bunch of viking muppets singing the Village People classic “In the Navy,” all while ostensibly raping and pillaging a little muppet village. The use of this song on a children’s show should be proof positive that no one understood that the Village People were big ‘mos and that this song was a thinly veiled celebration of butt-fucking below deck.
Care of The Sword’s tireless editors, we bring you this roundup (by
no means complete, or even-handed) of stuff going on for those of the
homo persuasion this weekend in the two meccas we currently have
bandwidth to cover, San Francisco and New York. Check back soon to see
us cover more gay urban centers near you (sorry, Cheyenne, we may never
get to you).
Our heavily editorialized listings after the jump…