mixed media

They once performed a “living sculpture” in which they invited fellow British gay artist David Hockney over for dinner, along with several other friends, took photographs, printed limited editions of the menu and invitations and created other documentation like an index sheet of stains from each of the foods and beverages consumed that night.  Gilbert & George, who have been making art together since the late 60s, are now being featured in a retrospective at San Francisco’s DeYoung museum which was organized by the Tate Modern in London.

Our favorite gay, homophobic, synthetic and “not-gay” celebrities have made for quite a multicolored springtime week in gay photography. Much like Lil’ Kim and Robin Antin must weed through a gaggle of bellowing, horny teens in order to form the perfect “Girlicious” pop group on network television, so must we tastefully curate ten perfect images which synopsize a week in new boyfriends, blowjobs and blowhards. Ladies and queens, we give you this retarded Week In Gay Photos.

Care of The Sword’s tireless editors, we bring you this roundup (by
no means complete, or even-handed) of stuff going on for those of the
homo persuasion this weekend in the two meccas we currently have
bandwidth to cover, San Francisco and New York.  Check back soon to see
us cover more gay urban centers near you (sorry, Cheyenne, we may never
get to you).

Our heavily editorialized listings after the jump…

Gay cable television stations are a little like porn star blogs. You keep hoping and hoping you’re going to find something worth paying attention to, but instead it’s all navel-gazing pep talks and GHB-fueled cautionary tales. Actually, we wish gay cable was that interesting-we took a break this weekend from the porno blogs to see how the non-oral-cumshot-hand-wringing-set entertains itself. We’re going back to smut tomorrow.

This season, New York fashion tome V Magazine asks, “DO YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO BE ON THE COVER OF VMAN?” If “what it takes” means “translucent skin, goth tattoos, and manorexia” and you just exclaimed “YES!” then it looks like you may be getting your lucky break. In a sequel to the publication’s successful modeling competition “V a Model,” they’re partnering with Hedi Slimane and Ford Models to launch a second search focusing squarely on the boys. Considering the fact that the first winner, Amanda Laine, earned a shoot with Mario Testino, an opening runway slot at Miu Miu and McQueen, and closed out the Louis Vuitton show (holy shit), it’s safe to say the stakes are high. The search is a breath of fresh air from the pay-cable spectacles of humiliation we’ve grown accustomed to monitoring, as not only will the prize outdo anything we’re likely to witness on the tube, but contestants probably won’t be forced to castrate themselves in front of Naomi Campbell either. The eye-candy is even hotter too, if the top 10 is any indication in the user-based voting system. Our bets are on Bob Marley-lover Daniel Neeson. Cast your application or vote at VMagazine.com.

On last week’s episode of Make Me A Supermodel, one of the two final girls was voted off by America, leaving one sole female competitor to duke it out against the three remaining dudes. Having already gained a gay following due to its subplot involving the lone gay contestant’s slow seduction of one of his straight competitors, Bravo upped the ante this week by bringing in Naomi Campbell and Project Runway‘s breakout designer Christian Siriano as guest judges (fierce) and also by putting the final four into an elemental photo shoot during which photographer Matthew Rolston cut Ben’s briefs off with a pair of scissors and made Perry dress up like a goth tranny and tuck his junk in between his legs (FIERCER)!  While his bravery as a model and twisted pose may have paid off in the eyes of the judges, we still think Ben’s image (inspired by wind) was totally Bruce Weber and Ronnie’s muddy shoot (representing earth) was just dirty enough to make us pause the episode and stare for a minute. Check out the three hotties that remain after the jump while we make bets about how the NBC offshoot cable station will out-gay themselves once this all wraps up in the coming weeks.

Who’d have thought that when NakedSword partnered with Dirty Boy Video to produce an NYC-based porn sitcom that it’d have TMZ and Perez Hilton talking about man-on-man oral sex. When the trailer for Dirty Tricks went public a few weeks back, it was a gay porn sensation that a Big Brother 9 house member (and supposed bisexual guy) was sucking dick six ways to Sunday.

Maybe we were right when we suggested Hollywood producer Scott Rudin was thinking of using his Oscar for less-than-wholesome purposes. After this month’s Showtime broadcast of the 2008 AVN Awards, Daily Variety lauded porn industry award shows like the AVNs, GayVNs and Grabbys as worthy of emulation by the Academy. With all the flesh on display, the industry-rag commends us for selling both the sizzle and the steak.

Care of The Sword’s tireless editors, we bring you this roundup (by
no means complete, or even-handed) of stuff going on for those of the
homo persuasion this weekend in the two meccas we currently have
bandwidth to cover, San Francisco and New York.  Check back soon to see
us cover more gay urban centers near you (sorry, Cheyenne, we may never
get to you).

Our heavily editorialized listings after the jump…

The poem is called “The Platonic Blow” and is included in a new volume called The Best American Erotic Verse, and as New York Magazine puts it, it’s basically “like a Penthouse forum letter… with no women.” Auden (pictured, right, with lover Christopher Isherwood) apparently wrote it in 1948 and circulated it only among friends, but when an unauthorized publication occurred in 1965 he denied writing it. Auden was openly gay his entire life, traveling to Weimar Berlin in 1929 because it was the only place in Europe where one could be openly gay. But this poem was written in New York, on “a spring day… when the air/ Smelled like a locker room.” It’s about picking up a stranger on a stoop for an anonymous blowjob, and lest you believe that gay sex prior to the 1970s was always furtive and shameful and conducted in through a glory hole while wearing a tweed suit, this poem will prove otherwise.

The first of four annual GLAAD Media Award ceremonies was held last night in New York City, where Anderson Cooper, who was honored for his AC360 segment “The First Casualty” in the “Outstanding TV Journalism-News Segment” category, was conspicuously absent and unable to receive his honor. Could it be that he thought by not attending that people would stop vigilantly monitoring his every move until he can’t handle the pressure and screams “I’M GAY!” and assume he’s straight or just forget about hassling him altogether? Because if so, we find his neglect to accept an honor from the gay rights watchdog organization an even bigger pink flag (clearly, he was worried that had he gone he might’ve become a little too tipsy and made out with one of the boys from As The World Turns). Not only was Anderson not in attendance, but there were no awards for I ♥ New York 2, Ryan Seacrest, Erik Rhodes’ blog, or Steven Cojocaru’s Glamour Interrupted either!

The organization did, however, decide to honor Matthew Shepherd’s mother (in a clear upset) and MTV President Brian Grader, who helped bring more visibility to gays in 2007 by placing Caleb Carter on the trashy dating series Parental Control. A yawn was heard ’round the world, and we now may resume waiting all too patiently for the next installment in South Florida on April 25th when even more gay celebrities will likely neglect to arrive.

In a digital short aired this Saturday on NBC’s Saturday Night Live, Superbad star Jonah Hill surprises comedian Andy Samberg by revealing to him that he’s been dating his father after a cordial meeting and dinner with Samberg’s family. A narrative montage ensues of Hill and the 57-year-old father embracing on the waterfront, strolling hand in hand through the village, and of course, gratuitously making out. We’re not sure whether the audience is shrieking due to the shock value of a gay tongue kiss, or because the kissers in question are so terribly unattractive. However, we now realize in the wake of this and Jimmy Kimmel’s “I’m Fucking Ben Affleck” viral clip that for two straight buddies, there’s no longer any revenge like gay revenge. Of the two late night skits, we’ve got to hand it to SNL for their more sensitive and realistic portrayal of gay romance.

Care of The Sword’s tireless editors, we bring you this roundup (by
no means complete, or even-handed) of stuff going on for those of the
homo persuasion this weekend in the two meccas we currently have
bandwidth to cover, San Francisco and New York.  Check back soon to see
us cover more gay urban centers near you (sorry, Cheyenne, we may never
get to you).

Our heavily editorialized listings after the jump…

Here at Sword HQ we get so inundated with all of the brutally hot XXX-hardcore action of gay pornography that even when we scrunch our eyes closed all we see are spinning patterns of huge dicks. That being said, you can’t blame us for getting at least an eensy-bit bored by all of the slobbering, pumping, humping and thrusting, and we often skip to the more hilarious B-roll of “acting” set-ups that make porn the campiest American art form. The ultimate bonus is when a porn, especially from the 80s, has an
amazing theme song

Thanks to Dave at “Slick It Up,” the pre-Y2K college dorm room phenomenon of the irreverent beer-soaked pinup poster, as Fleshbot describes one “used to find at Spencer Gifts circa 1983 that showcased a pair of glistening beer-soaked 36Ds slathered all over a white Lamborghini” is now available in the gay variety. Too little too late? We think not! We salute our stars-n-stripes clad friend for claiming a staple of party animal decor for the fags, because we can deep throat a beer bong better than our slack-jawed straight counterparts, we appreciate expensive cars (not only for their speed but also for their design), and just because we aren’t turned on by French-tip manicures, fuck-me heels, and too much lip liner doesn’t mean we should be deprived of a universal right to terrible wall art. This, for us, is just another step toward equality. Besides, there are a lot of imbecilic frat-guy types on our team too, trust us. The full gallery of poster options is available on Fleshbot.

The unfortunate thing about being outed by your coworker’s public gay slurs is that when you start going out with someone half your age, everybody knows about it, you’re bound to be ridiculed, and you’re fair game for even more homophobic moral posturing. Widely reported by blogs earlier this month, the story of Grey’s Anatomy star T.R. Knight’s debut of his blossoming relationship with a barely legal co-ed is now being sensationalized on a tabloid newsstand near you, as evidenced by the Enquirer image to the left. Scandal!  Boyfriend Mark Cornelson is only 19 and Knight is 34!

Sure, we’re as smitten with CNN‘s Anderson Cooper as the next faggot-okay, maybe not totally as smitten-but we’ve never understood what the big deal is about celebrities coming out of the closet, especially if they don’t pretend to be straight in the first place like certain Will Smiths we know. Sites like Gawker and Queerty, however, have become so rabid in their anticipation of a grand gesture from Anderson that they’ve taken to reporting every detail they can find about him, however insignificant, and painstakingly analyzing how it relates to his sex life. Sometimes puzzling and often hilarious, we’ve sifted through the heap of Anderson- Cooper-isms that point to his gayness and present our favorites now.

Care of The Sword’s tireless editors, we bring you this roundup (by
no means complete, or even-handed) of stuff going on for those of the
homo persuasion this weekend in the two meccas we currently have
bandwidth to cover, San Francisco and New York.  Check back soon to see
us cover more gay urban centers near you (sorry, Cheyenne, we may never
get to you).

Our heavily editorialized listings after the jump…

Trust us, we have. For further attempts to live vicariously through us in the wake of our cheerful and overwhelmingly positive experience at Sydney Mardi Gras, there’s a new list on Australia’s premier gay megasite, SameSame.com.au, of the Top 50 Gayest Songs Ever. Accepting thousands of votes, the list includes songs like “New York City Boy” by the Pet Shop Boys, “Strong Enough” by Cher, RuPaul’s “Supermodel“, and “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go” (CHOOSE LIFE!) and that’s just in the first batch! Now, keeping in mind that Australia’s pop culture is certainly a little bit different than what we see in the United States, we have to say that this list is pretty universal as far as gays are concerned.

We don’t mean to make your gag reflex choke up twice in one week, honest! We’re still as committed to hot guys as we ever were, but when a New York City fag journalist gets naked in an homage to (or rather, spoof of) a contemporary Hollywood starlet who’s trying, like every other starlet before her, to channel Marilyn Monroe, we’ve gotta post the grotesque nudes or we’d be doing a disservice to our field. Besides, at least there’s a cultural context in which to place Musto’s pageantry, unlike Perez Hilton’s oh-so-tragic pink-haired imitation of Britney Spears. If Musto represents the grand tradition of gossip columnists and Perez represents their future, we’re inarguably doomed, but isn’t it funny how closely it parallels the comparison of Marilyn Monroe to Lindsay Lohan?

Legions of homos will normally flip out and die over the release of a fart by Madonna, but the faux Briton’s “Four Minutes to Save the World,” was met with an online whimper this week when it was leaked after playing on French radio.

Of course, she ain’t dead yet-even at 75 years young-and this isn’t the first time Madge has released a stinker (and we’re not even talking about her record-five Worst Actress awards at the Razzies) and had it go onto some success (“Hanky Panky,” anyone?). Below, a look back at some of the Venereal Girl’s bigger misses.

Oh, the timeliness of it all! Just as Bravo’s token gay brainchild that is Project Runway draws to a close this week, the webs are alive with sightings and outtakes of queen minstrel Tim Gunn, so we thought we’d give you this quick roundup of all things sad and marvelous featuring the white-haired wonder himself. Come on, you know you’ll miss him!

It all started Friday with this Gawker Stalker item, the lede being “Tim Gunn is Sad.”  It seems little Tim was spotted alone and bereft-seeming at Upper East Side sugar daddy/hustler lounge The Townhouse. When the spotter tried approaching him for some friendly starfuckery, Herr Gunn simply mouthed, “Go away.”  We can’t vouch for the classiness/classlessness of the approach, or if there was a cocktail napkin autograph demand involved, but the image remains oddly haunting.

Care of The Sword’s tireless editors, we bring you this roundup (by
no means complete, or even-handed) of stuff going on for those of the
homo persuasion this weekend in the two meccas we currently have
bandwidth to cover, San Francisco and New York.  Check back soon to see
us cover more gay urban centers near you (sorry, Cheyenne, we may never
get to you).

Our heavily editorialized listings after the jump…

Ever since Bryan Boy — ”the most glamorous faggot in the Third World” — posted a side-by-side of Brent Corrigan and Zac Efron, our porn-drenched brains have been trying to take thing a step further by wondering who else we’d cast in the Hollywood version of the Bryan Kocis murder trial. For those not familiar with the case, here’s the Cliff’s Notes Version.

After the jump, our casting choices.

We remember Baby Dee in New York, riding her tricycle-mounted-harp around the East Village, looking a bit like John Lithgow in The World According to Garp and hustling for a solo show anywhere she could get it. She’s come a long way, having taken some time running a tree-removal service in Cleveland, and returning to New York where she now had some indie music cred and connections enough to produce her latest album Safe Inside the Day (Drag City Records). Pitchfork reviewed it last week and the write-up is pretty glowing, with comparisons to Tom Waits and Antony Hegarty of Antony and the Johnsons, who Baby Dee also claims as a friend.

Care of The Sword’s tireless editors, we bring you this roundup (by
no means complete, or even-handed) of stuff going on for those of the
homo persuasion this weekend in the two meccas we currently have
bandwidth to cover, San Francisco and New York.  Check back soon to see
us cover more gay urban centers near you (sorry, Cheyenne, we may never
get to you).

Our heavily editorialized listings after the jump…

We’ve always wondered who reads Details besides well-heeled gay men who like to shop at Barney’s and “metrosexuals” who aren’t coming out of the closet until next fall.  And now they have a blog, for their more ‘edgy’ content, which apparently means stories about masturbation and penis size.  This week, they ask the burning question “Is Being Well Hung the Key to Happiness?” Not being able to claim the otherworldly 13-inch schlongs of the guys quoted in the article, we can only imagine that life only gets sweeter, and your personality more cocky (ba dum bump) the bigger the piece you’re packing.

Reversing a 2003 decision made by the Tokyo High Court, a collection of erotic photographs by the late Robert Mapplethorpe has been deemed OK under the country’s indecency laws.  The book, titled Mapplethorpe and originally published by Random
House, had been readily available in Japan from 1994 to 1999 from
Uplink Publishers, owned by Takashi Asai, until Asai halted its sale under pressure from authorities.  Such prudishness about Mapplethorpe’s homoerotic work is not new, with a 1989 exhibition of his photographs in Washington forced into cancellation after facing some high-profile opposition led by North Carolina Sen. Jesse Helms, who was trying to cut off all kinds of NEA funding at the time. (No word on what then Idaho Rep. Larry Craig was doing besides jerking off to a copy of the Mapplethorpe monograph at home.)

Project Runway mentor, gay TV minstrel, and homosexual uncle to America Tim Gunn stopped by NBC’s Late Night with Conan O’Brien to woo Larry the Cable Guy, grab George Bush by his Presidential Seal-socked ankles and to take a swipe at Hillary.

We’ve gone full circle on the Valentine’s blues, going from sadness to fuck-it-all contentment back to sadness again, and that’s basically because we started scanning Craigslist to find evidence of some sadder sacks than us cruising the interwebs for love.  After the jump, a treasure trove of wonder that is sure to make you feel less pathetic in comparison.

Care of The Sword’s tireless editors, we bring you this roundup (by
no means complete, or even-handed) of stuff going on for those of the
homo persuasion this weekend in the two meccas we currently have
bandwidth to cover, San Francisco and New York.  Check back soon to see
us cover more gay urban centers near you (sorry, Cheyenne, we may never
get to you).

Our heavily editorialized listings after the jump…

Despite the fact that YouTube-phenom and Britney-enabler Chris Crocker seems equipped with all the makings of a mass media flash in the pan and some may claim his fifteen minutes ended somewhere around 150,000 minutes ago, we can’t help but rejoice his return to the venue that made him a cult star: his YouTube page. After recently lashing out at the “homophobosphere” or, in layman’s terms, the gay-bashing internet blog-commenter community at large (et al), Mrs. “Oh my God Chris Crocker’s shameless” decided to bring out the big guns to back up his stand: his terrifying thirty-something mother, her direct line to God, and a gun threat. Speaking entirely in clichès in a video posted this morning, Momma Crocker flawlessly delivers a tirade with the hurried pace of someone trying to squeeze in the last word before the hair-pulling begins:

“Honestly I say ‘fuck you all’ right back ’cause who are you to judge anybody, no one is sent here to judge anybody, the only person to do that is God so may God forsake you all ’cause hell has no fury like a woman when she’s scorned especially when it comes to her children, um… [winks] Press my buttons and see and you’ll feel the wrath of God.“

Later Chris asks her to show her manicure to the camera and warns, “She can run those into your face.” Something tells us she’s been in a catfight or two before… Check the jump for the video.

According to the April 2008 issue of Playgirl, butt-humping porn star Ben Andrews loves perky tits, picnics in Central Park and the feel of a woman’s body. In true Playgirl tradition, the well-hung star of Gigolo, The Intern and Cruising Budapest doesn’t mention that he’s gay, although the breathless text (“Yes, that Ben Andrews!” they squeal) does note his appearances in Inches and Freshmen. This falls somewhere on the believability scale between a steam-room cruiser’s wedding ring and Tom Cruise marrying that Dawson’s Creek girl.

Care of The Sword’s tireless editors, we bring you this roundup (by
no means complete, or even-handed) of stuff going on for those of the
homo persuasion this weekend in the two meccas we currently have
bandwidth to cover, San Francisco and New York.  Check back soon to see
us cover more gay urban centers near you (sorry, Cheyenne, we may never
get to you).

Our heavily editorialized listings after the jump…

Of all the homosexual porn stars who have sought to break the latex ceiling, Colton Ford has arguably been the most successful. The would-be dance-hall diva has had some success with Billboard, but now that Ford has a new gig hosting Logo’s NewNowNext music clip show this Sunday may mean that he’s more than just a trophy stud.

We say arguably, however, because Colton Ford is part of a long line of cross-over porn/music stars. There’s plenty we left out-Ryan Idol on Broadway, JD Slater on about a zillion Raging Stallion DVDs-but it’s a short day today. Our five favorite porn star cross-over music moments after the jump:

Gus Van Sant’s Harvey Milk biopic-starring Sean Penn as Milk with James Franco as his lover Scott Smith, Emile Hirsch as fellow activist Cleve Jones, and Josh Brolin as City Supervisor and Milk murderer Dan White-has been shooting in San Francisco the past few weeks, heavily using the Castro for location shoots.  We have to admit to a certain amount of excitement over seeing the recreation of the era (sexual and otherwise) nearest and dearest to the collective gay heart.  Also, after the jump: Sean Penn and James Franco shirtless and hugging!

In this 2006 episode of MTV’s reality dating show Parental Control, wonder twink porn star Caleb Carter-or Ben, as he was then known—is the bad-boy boyfriend who Matt’s parents eagerly want to replace before he gives Matt a disease.

Care of The Sword’s tireless editors, we bring you this roundup (by
no means complete, or even-handed) of stuff going on for those of the
homo persuasion this weekend in the two meccas we currently have
bandwidth to cover, San Francisco and New York.  Check back soon to see
us cover more gay urban centers near you (sorry, Cheyenne, we may never
get to you).

Our heavily editorialized listings after the jump…

The Sundance Film Festival is a notoriously surreal cinema outpost. Somehow playing host to quaint snow lodges filled with young and unfinanced film talent, reporters, starlets and a veritable blizzard of Hollywood vultures all in one Park City stretch, the fest has become notorious for being more Hollywood than Un-Hollywood as years pass. And when you’re a gay underground artist like writer/director Bruce LaBruce, all bets are certainly off. “It’s another world premiere, but this time we haven’t pre-sold the U.S. territory,” LaBruce blogged on his MySpace profile, of his new zombie flick, Otto; or, Up With Dead People. Attending the festivities with his co-producers and sales agent, LaBruce and friends “[had] the pleasure of trying to sell a melancholy gay zombie movie with political overtones to a mob of distributors looking for the next Juno,” an uphill feat for a genre-bending auteur who brought us such transgressive and semi-pornographic classics as Super 8 1/2 and The Raspberry Reich.