Semi-lebrity Spencer Pratt has refused Michael Lucas’s lecherous advances, telling In Touch magazine that he won’t leave the lucrative world of reality TV “until I am 100.”
While actual details are sketchy and smell vaguely of poppers and fever
dream sweat, Lucas had allegedly propositioned The Hills “star,”
suggesting that he’d be perfect for a gay porn blockbuster.
The Bush Administration has approved $300,000 dollars in funding to the Gay Men’s Health Crisis to fight crystal meth abuse in the gay community.
For decades we knew our porn stars birth marks better than we knew their birth names. While the post-Paris era has decreased the stigma of sex stardom, we still generally only get to know porn stars real names when they appear in court or on a stretcher.
When a hedge-fund manager turned up dead in West Palm Beach a few weeks back, we had a hard time getting excited about the possible gay porn connection.
At the supposed center of the male-strom was “Tiger,” a poorly tattooed one-time star with a penchant for posing on eponymous rugs. It was easy to look away. But now that annoying tranny star Kayla Coxx is involved, it seems there’s no avoiding it.
Has the vivisection that is holiday shopping robbed you of your holiday spirit? With less than a week until we all hunker down at Mom’s, rifle through the medicine cabinet, bogart a bottle of champagne and wake up dazed in a living nativity somewhere down the street, time is running out to get our loved ones what they really want from us. Of course, a porn site membership will successfully impress your gaggle of gay friends, but for your most special partner, nothing says “Season’s Greetings” like reaming him in the ass with a giant red and white candy-cane vibrator! Alright fruitcakes, we give you (after the jump): Our Holiday Wishlist!
When it was discovered that a Chinese toy company had inadvertently made colored beads that turned into GHB when broken down by the digestive tract, homos everywhere began popping Lite-Brite pegs (nevermind that the culprit, Aqua Dots, were quickly recalled). The Sword, however, felt it was time to set the record straight about one of our least favorite date rape drugs. Our complete field guide after the jump.
After all the nog and slog of the holiday season, what we really want for Christmas is a hooker. Not some tarted up masseur offering mutual-touch with release, but an honest-to-god two-hundred-dollar escort.
We asked fifty working porn stars for a moment of their time. Turns out not everyone is available
Lords of the Jungle star Rambo tells us how he keeps it hard dancing and fucking: It’s all in his head.
Alex Castro, who seems to have appeared under the name Elian Cortez in a COLT photo shoot, is now making prime time television appearances under the name “Militia” on American Gladiators. (Is that still on? Oh, apparently it’s a revival.) We can’t seem to find evidence of Elian Cortez working in the gay adult film industry, as Perez Hilton seems to imply and COLT would like to claim-only a calendar photo shoot. But this wouldn’t be the first time a COLT man got some mainstream TV play this year. Gage Weston dropped in on Bravo’s Workout, chatting up lipstick lez gym owner Jackie Warner and flirting with gay trainer Jesse…
Care of The Sword’s editors, we bring you this roundup, by no means complete (or even-handed) of gay stuff going on this December 31st in San Francisco and New York-the two metropolises we currently have the bandwidth to cover.
After the jump, a few ideas for ringing in another New Year in more fun (and possibly regrettable) ways.
That Boy star Peter Berlin captivated
audiences for years with his iconic Dutch Boy cut and too-tight jeans, and now
claims that beauty like his might help bring about world peace. In an interview
in this month’s issue of GayVN magazine,
explains the cause behind the terrible phenomenon that begat Darfur and
“The world
is ruled by ugly people. Look at your Congress. The natural thing is for men to
express their sexuality, to enjoy it. Those fat men in suits and short hair who
rule the world, no wonder they fight wars. Such schizophrenia! Men still have
no self-respect, no self-love. If you do not respect or love yourself, you
cannot respect or love anyone else. Therefore, war. Rather than showing a dick,
they take up a gun. I have so much I would like to say. Perhaps this interview
will convince someone out there that I am not just a stupid blond.”
Erstwhile Project Runway contestant Jack Mackenroth seems like a real doll, and one with a head not only for PR, but PR as well. Whilst awaiting the airing of his appearance on and subsequent staph-infection-related departure from the show, Mackenroth not only posed for some nude-y “art” photographs that got “leaked” to the internet, shot a cameo in the Sex and the City movie and started dating fellow reality fag Dale Levitski, but he also uploaded a charming video spoof of himself lip syncing to Irene Cara’s 1983 classic “What a Feeling” while fagging out on the D train and
getting a bucket of water thrown on him (clip after the jump).
Finally we’ve found a porn that taps into the gay experience of the Pacific Northwest. Do you even know what a “pumphouse” is? We do, and we had one in our backyard. It’s a weird little shack that’s used to pump water when you’re so secluded from civilization that your household operates on well water. How perfect that the studio named after the spider-den rabbit hutch of our 4H youth has produced FAG WAGON! Remember the time we all took that trip up to Portland in our friend’s parents’ van and got wasted in Eureka, and you met that fag from that band and totally gave him a blowjob in said van, which was parked in the driveway of the punk house where they played? Remember when you took him back with you and made out to Pinback CDs in the backseat but then he started to annoy you so you ditched him in Ukiah?
Care of The Sword’s tireless editors, we bring you this roundup (by no means complete, or even-handed) of stuff going on for those of the homo persuasion this weekend in the two meccas we currently have bandwidth to cover, San Francisco and New York. Check back soon to see us cover more gay urban centers near you (sorry, Cheyenne, we may never get to you).
Our heavily editorialized listings after the jump…
If you’ve got a question about religion, ask the man who produced Heaven to Hell. When CBS News covered the decision of The Diocese of San Joaquin in California’s Central Valley to break away from the larger Episcopal Church for its ordination of women and support of gays (calling it “morally and spiritually bankrupt), they asked Falcon Studios prexy Todd Montgomery to set the record straight. “Jesus wasn’t exclusive,” Montgomery told the unsuspecting film crew outside San Francisco’s tony Grace Cathedral. Not a Falcon exclusive, maybe, but we suspect Dark Alley would have signed him.
This vintage clip from Snowballing (Gentlemen’s Video) features a trio of 70s hunks cruising one another on a mountainside, spliced with a skiing montage, to the Beach Boys’ “I Get Around.” Though not included here, they later retreat to a lodge and fuck to David Bowie! We wish we were making this up.
Holiday YouTube videos have replaced Christmas
cookies as a seasonal MUST over these past couple of years. For fags like us, YouTube isn’t just another
sensory replacement for food (just ask our dealers!), but also a chance to
catch some of the most bizarre and under-appreciated queer cinema ever made. We’ve
known that gays and yuletide cheer are an incompatible match ever since we came
out during Christmas of freshman year and our crazy Aunt Rachel threw her turkey leg at us, screaming “fuck” a lot-so you can imagine the tongue-in- cheekiness we have in store for you with our 12 Gays of Christmas Video Collection.
Let’s say you’re a poorly closeted celebrity who
hasn’t seen a lot of press since 2003.
You go to the trouble of seeking a skin care professional in
Beyoncé said he was the bomb and you’ve been told that the Danes are very
discreet.*
Porn stars are inscrutable beasts. The more we think we get to know them, the more they astound us with the fact that, beneath their stunning visages and muscled exteriors, musically they’re fags just like us.
People said it wouldn’t last–and it didn’t. One YouTube-video filled year later, Ginch Gonch spokestwunks Benjamin Bradley and Ethan Reynolds are no more. So while the rest of the world is celebrating the impending nuptials of Roman Heart and Benjamin Bradley (together again, just like Pam and Tommy!), we thought we’d take this time to ponder the romance that was too hot not to cool down. We can only hope that Benjamin brings his enthusiasm for banal video diaries with him in this new romantic venture. Godspeed, camera-loving faglets!
The Toyota
Motor Corp is suing bareback porn company Eboys Studios over a (Swiss?) star’s use of
the trademarked name of luxury car brand Lexus. Eboys has not-so-cleverly
responded that said star based the name on the Greek god Lexus who,
inconveniently for them does not exist. Oddly, and apropos of nothing, according to Jonathan Mahler’s The Lexus Story, one of the inspirations…
For news you can use (and abuse yourself to), RSVP to our weekly Gossip
Gangbang! From mild to wild,
we’re not into bullshit. We’re versatile, we’ve got major loads to spill down
your throat, and all with no strings attached! If interested, please join the club:
On the latest Tim and
Roma Show, the two “Best Personality” nominees (thanks for giving them big heads, Cybersocket!) wax political over how barebacking
titles seem to be gaining popularity and how the trend parallels increased HIV
rates among gay men. Too bad the episode didn’t air before the filming of British Bareback Vacation, because one
of the co-stars contracted HIV on the set and is now thinking of suing the
film’s producers in
order to prevent other young men from suffering the same fate.. Hasn’t anyone told him that being popular is
the ONLY THING THAT MATTERS? (via GayVN
News)
74 years ago today, Utah finally cowed to the
rest of the whiskey-loving Lower 48 and grudgingly ratified the 21st Amendment, bringing to
an end America’s long nightmare of bathtub gin and flapper fashion. Nostalgia for speakeasy culture has given way
to a fetishistic modern cocktail movement exemplified in bars like
that the repeal of Prohibition and a few other developments since 1934 have
made possible the million-and-one homemade YouTube videos made by piles of
pierced twinks, drinking Bud Light out of the can, pulling down their pants for
the camera, shouting “OMG I’m SO DRUNK!” and making out with each
other for sport.
DC’s
gentlemen’s clubs are gonna be empty tonight, ‘cause the National Press Club’s
hosting a real smoker this afternoon. The gays
marched on Washington
in 1993. Louis Farrakhan led the Million Man March in 1995. Now, Americans for
Truth About Homosexuality are “speaking truth to power” by presenting the
videotaped depravity of San Francisco’s Folsom Street Fair in an exciting multimedia format entitled “Tolerance Gone Wild” at the National Press Club…
The Cock
29 2nd Avenue
New York
Wednesdays
Drag mess legend Linda Simpson hosts this weekly party with DJs Telfar and Michael Magnan and a revolving cast of downtown’s most fashionable fags and their friends. Wake up on Thursday with fresh regrets! $5 at the door.
Based on a survey of fifty working gay porn stars, The Sword gladly brings you this handy statistical pie chart of where the bodies you know and love currently reside.
Directed by Todd Stephens (Edge of Seventeen)-and giving the world not only a scene of quiche fucking, an indelible image of Graham Norton with six-inch nipples, about nine enemas, and cameo appearances by Falcon man Matthew Rush and Survivor beast Richard Hatch-Another Gay Movie is a sex comedy made for faglets in the great American tradition of teen sex comedies.
See also: TLA Trots Out Another Gay Sequel
2006’s Another Gay Movie, largely a parody of American Pie but containing tongue-in-cheek references to many other movies, plumbed new depths in gross-out gay cinema. Directed by Todd Stephens (Edge of Seventeen)-and giving us not only a scene of quiche fucking, an indelible image of Graham Norton with six-inch nipples, about nine enemas, and cameo appearances by Falcon man Matthew Rush and Survivor beast Richard Hatch-it was a sex comedy made for faglets in the great…
As Andy Warhol once
enthused about Coke (we mean the soda, fiends): it’s the same whether you’re a
bum, the President, or Liz Taylor-money can’t buy you a better one and it
always tastes the same. We suppose we could say that about holiday music as
well; no matter how pressed your
body, nor how big your dick, nor how many guest lists you’re on, you’ve still
got the same schmaltz every December-or so it would seem.We asked a few of
our favorite resident pervs about their favorite holiday music.
You got
over mixing beer with liquor in high school-we know. But there you are at the bar throwing back a handful of
unmarked pills with a severely under-mixed cocktail. Is your lonely homo existence worth so
little? Don’t you want to at least get
through that Vanity Fair piece on
Matthew McConaughy?
We’re no
experts-more like Nurse Ratched than Florence Nightingale-but in honor of the holiday season, we thought
we’d give you a by-no-means-complete list of the fatal gay drug interactions that
killed so many we loved and loved to hate. Stay alive! We want to mock
you.
Mad
Lausanne, Switzerland
December 31
It’s a big gay New Year’s Eve party in the heart of Europe, and this year’s theme is “Hollywood,” which probably means skinny blondes, cocaine and missing panties. 35 euros before midnight makes for a perfect apres ski event, even with a falling dollar. More info here.
Lord & Taylor
424 5th Avenue
New York
December 6, 5 to 8 PM
If you’ve ever wanted a day to roam a New York department store at Christmas time and simultaneously cruise guys with abandon (wait, isn’t that called “Saturday”?), check out Lord & Taylor’s man-themed shopping event hosted by Details, 1050ESPN NY, Buffalo Jeans, Hawke & Company Outfitters and 7 Diamonds. Your retail therapy this evening will be accompanied by DJ Marc, and comes with a 20% discount and a gift bag. Don’t forget to wear the accessory of the season: a teacup Maltese under your arm! Call 212-391-3604 for reservations.
