Real World Brooklyn’s JD is Packing Magnum Heat and Mormon Chet Wants It
The Real World: Brooklyn is pretty much the gayest thing on TV right now, and will be until Rupaul’s Drag Race premieres. So let’s just bask in this for a second, shall we?
January 2009
MONDAY
Tiara Sensation @ The Stud
9th and Harrison
Mondays, 10PM – 1AM, $5
Come on. No one goes out on weekends anymore. And Mondays are hard with nothing to look forward to, so check out this recently relocated DIY drag fest, featuring a craft table, good music and many a drunken cool kid in a borrowed wig.
Manic Mondays @ Bar on Church
Church & 14th
Mondays, 8PM – 2AM, $2
When you offer 80-cent well drinks, expect the kids to show up in droves, even if it is a Monday night.
TUESDAY
Show & Tell @ Kimo’s
Polk & Pine
Tuesdays 9PM
Sister Roma and Bebe Sweetbriar bring you this weekly funfest in the heart of the TenderPolk.
Pink Slip @ The Stud
9th & Harrison
Tuesdays 9PM
It may not be Trannyshack, but the trannies are trying keep a toehold on Tuesdays at the Stud.
WEDNESDAY
Booty Call @ The Bar on Castro
456 Castro Street
Wednesdays, 9PM – 2AM, $3
Juanita MORE! and the MOREboys can always be counted on to bring out the cuties and cool kids at this mid-week dance party, while beloved Sword portrait photographer Brandon Norris shoots your new Facebook photo in the back room.
Brain Farts @ The Lookout
Market Street @ Noe
Wednesdays 7:30 – 10:30
Dork out on some way gay trivia with co-hostesses Pollo Del Mar and Bebe Sweetbriar at this weekly pub trivia night in the Castro. Drunk fags and their hags in attendence tend to take their trivia pretty seriously, so come armed with at least one friend who hasn’t melted their memories with crack.
Frat House @ 440
440 Castro Street
Wednesdays, 9PM – 2AM, $2
The name says it all. Oh, and they sometimes have a midget selling beer bongs and usually a skinny go-go twink who looks like he could use a sandwich, and tox screen.
A Montage of Homoerotic Clips from an Early 80s Teen Sex Comedy
The 80s really were an innocent time, weren’t they? We doubt many of you remember 1980’s Pinball Summer starring Michael Zelnicker, but when we came across this clip we just knew we had to share.
Martha Stewart Prison Pal Tells Of Lesbian Sex Run-In
Question: While in a low-security prison serving time for securities fraud you walk in on some butch dykes getting it on in the dark in the workout room. WWMD? (What Would Martha Do?)
Our Web Domain Prices, Ourselves
A consortium of adult business will come together next week in a Las Vegas auction to bid on available URLs for dirty websites. The different values among the domains reveal some interesting trends. Is love the new sex? Is latin the new white? Find out below.
PlanetOut Finally Swallowed Whole by Here Networks
The haggard, broke, improbably alive old queen that is PlanetOut Inc. finally gave up the ghost this week and let itself be bought–lock, stock and dentures–by Here Networks.
MAD TV: Registering a Porn Name
MAD TV may be meeting its maker at the end of this season, but its comedic high points shall live on in perpetuity on the YouTubes (and here when we see fit).
Man Found Dead Inside Pittsburgh Bathhouse
A 31-year-old man was found dead on Sunday inside his rented private room at Club Pittsburgh, the city’s local gay bathhouse.
Tre Xavier: Mad Proud Cocksucker
When he isn’t busy excoriating the porn industry for its racism, Pitbull porn star Tré Xavier is quite the porn writer! Tré just came to from his New Year’s bender long enough to describe, in great detail, all the mad fellating he did during and after Daniel Nardicio’s masked ball in NYC.
THURSDAY
Tubesteak Connection @ Aunt Charlie’s Lounge
133 Turk Street
10PM, $4
Aunt Charlie’s is one of our favorite bars of all time. The carpet probably hasn’t been replaced since the mid-70s… read more
Buck Wild @ Buck Tavern
1655 Market St (at Gough)
7PM
Miss Nixx and Lady Bear bring you a pool party. As in billiards, not water. And they’ve got $6 Long Island Iced Teas. Made with Soju, not Vodka. (No liquor license.) But that’s cool! $4 Jumbo Tavern Dogs and $2 Miller Lite drafts are all you’ll need.
FRIDAY
Ghetto Disco @ The Endup
6th and Harrison
11PM – 11AM
The unofficial after-party for those jittery, sex-crazed alcoholics we love to cuddlefuck.
Charlie Horse @ The Cinch
1723 Polk Street (bet. Clay & Washington)
10 PM, show at 12.
It’s a hike if you don’t live in the Russian Hill/Nob Hill/’Loin vicinity, and with hostess Anna Conda and a bevy of part-time trannies this is the most rock-n-roll that drag gets. Free, with half-price drinks before 11.
Black Friday @ Cat Club
1190 Folsom Street
Third Fridays – 10PM
DJs Pee Play, Sex Wax and Randy bring this new monthly, every 3rd Friday, featuring electro, 80s, and indie-type stuff.
Snap A Licious @ Deco
510 Larkin St
Third Fridays – 10PM
Join Ginger Snap and her army of hos for performances and binging. Freakshow begins at 10. $5
Boy Bar @ The Cafe
2367 Market Street
Every Friday 9PM – 2AM
If you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to feel old before your time, washed up by age 28…
LOS ANGELES… Weekly Scene
In a city whose subjects buy their duvets at Target to scrounge up enough money for their Bentley payments, the peroxide glare can sometimes be overwhelming. Luckily, the steady line-up of parties here hardly ever changes. So until everyone starts clamoring for that elusive party in the hills after the bars close at 2 AM, there’s no need to fret about the non-existent underground scene you’re not missing.
Who Got This Tuberculosis Party Started?
5 San Francisco residents who either work for or frequent Castro gay bars share a common strain of tuberculosis that health officials fear could spread. Below, we try to connect the coughing dots.
The Sword Tour of San Francisco Gay Porn Locations
The Sex and the City Tour they do in NYC leads Midwestern housewives around to the locations where Carrie, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte led those fabulous, *crazy* single lives filled with brunches and Cosmos and Jimmy Choos.
Kylie Minogue’s BF Drops Trou for OUT
Kylie Minogue’s slightly hot Mediterranean-looking boyfriend, male ‘supermodel’ Andres Velencoso Segura (who we had never heard of until today), recently did a high fashion photo shoot for OUT magazine mostly in his skivvies.
Francesco D’Macho Uses Honey for Lube (NSFW)
In a sexy new preview clip from Stag Homme Studios, Francesco D’Macho and pal Dennis get into some food play, dousing themselves in milk and using honey for lube!
Bar Patron Gets Pissed Off, Bouncer Gets Pissed On
A 22-year old man in Fairbanks, Alaska, was angry that his drunk friend was being ejected from a bar, so he urinated on the bouncer’s leg. He then called Judge Judy and told her it was raining.
Barbie’s Creator Was a Diseased Sex Fiend
A new book reveals that the creator of Barbie was a sex-crazed perv, and that the man who inspired Ken was gay and died of AIDS.
‘Conchords’ Bret and Jermaine Are Ripped
In a cleverly pec-tastic bit of publicity, Flight of the Conchords stars Bret and Jermaine appear on two alternate covers of Time Out New York that are, in case you didn’t notice, meant to mock Men’s Fitness covers.
Boy Butter Gives Hedda Lettuce New Ad Gig
Boy Butter impresario Eyal Feldman recruited professional drag diva and Project Runway contestant humilator Hedda Lettuce to shill for his popular personal lubricant.
Which Porn Star’s Boyfriend Would You Fuck if You Could? (You Can’t.)
Porn stars’ boyfriends: they’re just like us! Except for the dating a porn star thing. Below, pictures and a poll.
Chris Evans: A Tribute in Pictures
Given that Fantastic Four flamer Chris Evans has popped up in the gay news this week–after an Advocate profile in which he talks about his hot gay brother–and given that he himself is kill-me-now hot and that we’ve somehow never paid tribute to His Royal Hotness, we figured now must be the time.
Is RuPaul’s New Show Bigger Than Jesus?
We’d normally rather watch a cat die than endure Logo’s flaccid programming, but judging by the teaser below, RuPaul’s Drag Race (premiering February 2nd) looks pretty, pretty good.
Larry Flynt and Joe Francis Want a Piece of Obama’s Package
In what sounds like a publicity stunt, Hustler founder Larry Flynt and “Girls Gone Wild” exploiter Joe Francis have requested $5 billion in bailout funds from the U.S. government, claiming they are no less worthy of a federal safety net than the Big 3 automakers.
Seattle Gay Bars Receive Deadly Poison Threats
A Seattle gay bar received a threatening letter today from an author intending to kill dozens of people at 11 locations in the city’s gayborhood with fatal doses the deadly poison, Ricin.
Mini Me: Sex Addict and Hung Like a Toddler
This just in! Has-been, literally pint-sized B-lister Verne Troyer is a sex addict, in addition to being an alcoholic and hung like a toddler.
Behind the Scenes: Hot House’s ‘Locker Room’
Director Steven Scarborough let us in on a photo shoot for Hot House‘s upcoming release “Locker Room” starring Kyle King and Ethan Wolfe and our fave gingerhead man Blu Kennedy.
‘Bromance’ Is Not Only Homoerotic, It’s Complicated
A certain writer over at Videogum has declared Brody Jenner’s MTV reality show Bromance to be “the most important examination of modern masculinity ever,” no bullshit.
China Bans Internet Porn, Rainbows and Laughter
China banned internet porn yesterday in its biggest blow to teenagers since killing a bunch of them twenty years ago in Tiananmen Square.
Wolf Hudson to Test Obama Obscenity Policy with Milk Enemas
Multi-tasking porn star, self-proclaimed King of Kink and Sword mascot Wolf Hudson recently took part in a shoot that may push the envelope with the Obama Administration’s standards of obscenity.
Vegas Gay Bar Cited for Public Sex Acts
The self-proclaimed “oldest gay bar in Las Vegas,” Snick’s Place, has been cited by the Nevada Gaming Commission for failing to curtail public sex acts on the premises.
Rod Barry, Porn Star and Beloved Village Drunk, Enters Rehab
Porn star and GayVN Hall of Famer Rod Barry announced on his blog last night that he has entered rehab to overcome a 20-year history of alcohol abuse.
Brits Invent Molecule That Could Cure Hangovers
Quick on the heels of The Sword’s list of New Year’s resolutions for sloppy drunks, we hear this news of a new drug that could prove to be an instant hangover cure.
Ben Andrews Pops Sherry Vine’s Cherry in Britney Spoof
We at Sword HQ love a good drag spoof of a pop song as much as the next gay, but so few of them are good, right?
Separated at Girth: Roman Heart Channels Fellini
Who would have guessed that Federico Fellini and Falcon’s casting department had such similar taste in men?
Kentucky Pastor May Have Given HIV to 15-Year-Old He Fucked
This is one of those heart-warming tales of man meets boy, man sodomizes boy, man turns himself in to the cops and admits he has HIV. Oh, and did we mention he’s a pastor?
Homophobes Love Gay Porn
Hardcore homophobes, a recent study suggests, are more aroused by gay porn than their non-homophobic peers. Well, duh.