In order to compete with other gay blogs, I’m going to start writing television show recaps of the most highly relevant television shows that are part of “popular gay culture” and that have a lot of “online buzz.” This is part of my strategy to a) deliver more diverse content to a growing readership and b) increase the amount of unique visitors to my site. The title of this post alone, “American Horror Story Season 2 Premiere Recap,” includes a string of highly searched-for words on Google and should bring in, say, 50,000,000 hits today? Sure.
Without further ado, here is my recap of the American Horror Story Season 2 premiere:
I didn’t watch the American Horror Story Season 2 premiere.
But, I did watch a couple of commercials for it on YouTube and saw some pics of a hot guy being raped(?) and read some tweets from people watching it in real time (“OMG is that an alien?!”), and that is more than enough to give you as informed a recap as you will read anywhere else, trust me. So, here’s what happened on the American Horror Story Season 2 premiere, which I did not watch:
People with horrible Northeastern United States accents–the worst of which came from Jessica Lange–screamed while torturing people or being tortured themselves and/or having sex in a mental hospital/church. Loud, dumb, not remotely scary, mean, edited like a hip-hop music video on MTV if MTV still played music videos, and stuffed with gratuitous and unnecessary violence and nudity, the American Horror Story Season 2 premiere was everything its fans deserve. Tune in next week for exactly the same thing.
And like with any episode of any popular television show, the best part was when they showed the hot guy’s ass.