Fuck you, Juno and your Moldy Peaches sing-a-long. Porn has an anti-folk anthem of it’s own — and it’s none too soon. YouTube superstar, drug-addict impersonator and all around good guy (according to sources who want to blow or have blown him) Wolf Hudson has composed the thought-provoking ballad, “I Wanna Tea Bag You.” (Listen after the jump.)
Porn directors are sentimental fags like us, so it should come as no surprise that many of your favorite porn scripts are secretly based on classic movies-Chi Chi’s latest, Unknown is based on Ghost, and Steve Cruz’s Hotter Than Hell drew its inspiration from The Devil and Daniel Webster. Or maybe it was Bedazzled. But for every totally obvious porn parody (Oliver Twink, American Booty, Raiders of the Lost Arse) there’s a host of movies that you might never have realized drew their inspiration from mainstream. (Damn the distractions of the flesh.) See if you can match the the porn movies after the jump with the Hollywood screenplays that inspired them.
This year’s Adult Entertainment Expo was even more tit-and-pussy-centric than ever, but Tim and Roma still managed to have gay old time with Barrett Long and his new dildo and TitanMen Dean Flynn, Diesel Washington, and recent Raging Stallion-convert Damien Crosse.
Thanks to Dave at “Slick It Up,” the pre-Y2K college dorm room phenomenon of the irreverent beer-soaked pinup poster, as Fleshbot describes one “used to find at Spencer Gifts circa 1983 that showcased a pair of glistening beer-soaked 36Ds slathered all over a white Lamborghini” is now available in the gay variety. Too little too late? We think not! We salute our stars-n-stripes clad friend for claiming a staple of party animal decor for the fags, because we can deep throat a beer bong better than our slack-jawed straight counterparts, we appreciate expensive cars (not only for their speed but also for their design), and just because we aren’t turned on by French-tip manicures, fuck-me heels, and too much lip liner doesn’t mean we should be deprived of a universal right to terrible wall art. This, for us, is just another step toward equality. Besides, there are a lot of imbecilic frat-guy types on our team too, trust us. The full gallery of poster options is available on Fleshbot.
Flagship chronicle of all things crucial and totally true, In Touch Weekly, reports in its issue hitting newsstands today that our favorite gay-vague TV persona-okay, our second favorite-Ryan Seacrest is dating fellow E!-tard Holly Huddleston of reality program Sunset Tan (more well-known as one half of the show’s “Olly Girls”). While this reportage wreaks of convenience and is rife with PR orchestration, we can’t help but wonder: what if Ryan Seacrest really is an actual straight man? Not only does this news come out of the clear blue marketing offices of E! Entertainment Television, slapping us in the face like a big pair of boobs, but also conveniently, there are other recent developments that point to his straighthood as well. For example, when asked point blank by Perez Hilton whether or not he’s a ‘mo on his radio program, Ryan denied the gay rumor and claimed he’d recently been with a woman for twelve entire hours. Not only this, but In Touch also spoke to Ryan’s ex-girlfriend who confirmed that he is, indeed, straight.
We have a deep appreciation for Rock Hudson and all the other “perpetual bachelors” of mid-century America, and feel a certain kinship with the proto-homos of yore. We understand that prior to AIDS and parades, we weren’t exactly on the suburban radar, but, uh, COME ON NOW! Some of those pioneering old schoolers look pretty fucking gay to us, through our (admittedly) contemporary lens. So today we continue to examine how the generations before us managed to believe these guys were just, you know, a little funny.
Anthony Perkins
1932-1992
He was the soft-spoken, pretty-boy star of Psycho who fucked Tab Hunter and Rock Hudson and didn’t manage to sleep with a woman until he was 39. Anthony Perkins’ story is more sad than it is funny, but we want to take a moment to marvel at what used to pass for a straight man in these parts and appreciate old Tony’s work in his closeted prime.
A 19-year-old Iranian gay named Mehdi Kazhami has bigger problems than you or we do on the average, complacent, celebaby-filled American day. He left Iran, which doesn’t so much care for the homosex, and went to England three years ago to study and apply for asylum. His reasons were sound: His boyfriend back home had been executed for sodomy and it seemed likely he would be too were he to return home. When his bid for asylum in Britain was rejected, he traveled to the Netherlands to try again, because the Netherlands, being the big gay capital of Europe, has historically been extremely sympathetic to gay Iranian asylum seekers.
Homo hero and San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom *might* run for governor, says The Advocate. Though he hasn’t confirmed his plans, GavGav presented himself front-and-center at the courthouse last week the day the CA Supreme Court was hearing arguments on the gay-marriage appeal. The gubernatorial race won’t be happening for another two years, and so this probably counts as a snooze-flash if we ever heard one, but if only because we and almost every other gay in SF have a crush on Gavin we thought we’d throw him a post.
That’s right! Rosie’s been relegated to video blogging on her website, Rosie.com, and we can’t help being reminded of another former TV comedienne we know. This week, Rosie welcomes d-lister and contemporary gay icon Kathy Griffin into what looks like her kitchen for a segment on Kathy’s Emmy-award-winning series My Life on the D-List and basically, shit goes down like this:
Ever wondered what it’d be like to be luckiest boy on the porn set? You don’t have to get naked, you don’t have to get hard and you don’t even have to go on camera. You just have to blow the star to get him ready for the next scene. As far as we know, the role of the ‘fluffer’ is largely a myth, but this sex-dramedy from TLA Releasing was a film fest fave back in 2001 and features Debbie Harry, Chi Chi LaRue, porn star Cole Tucker and Baywatch hunk Scott Gurney as gay-for-pay model Johnny Rebel.
-Apparently, she means South Beach. Three and a half years after tying the knot with broker Al Reynolds in a largely criticized New York charade rife with product placement, it seems the former View co-host is facing the ironic fact that no one’s buying into her fake marriage and it’s futile for her to keep pretending. Capping off a year of abject career failure for Jones-Reynolds (her talk show on Court TV was canceled after five months) the move may signify that she’s ready to cut her losses and start over from scratch. Hounded by rumors of Al’s gay lifestyle and their relationship as a beard marriage from the get-go, we’re curious as to what set Star over the edge. There were the times Al dressed up as a male stripper for Halloween in a white speedo and a bathrobe, and “as Bam Bam from the Flintstones” in an outing to Fire Island; those freqent “business trips” out of town and late nights out at “Lotus” with his guy pals; and the infamous time his neighbors were woken up by one of Al’s tricks at 4am who rang the wrong buzzer, which each sounded like a good reason for Star to get her lawyer on the phone at the time.
Damien Crosse announced today that he just finished filming his first non-Titan scene, opposite Steve Cruz in the Raging Stallion feature Steve Cruz’s Hotter Than Hell. Crosse had announced last week that he was moving on after two years with Titan Media but had not revealed where he would be going. Crosse has been nothing if not diplomatic about the decision, saying, “I really enjoyed working with the
guys at [Titan]-they were great people and we made some
excellent films together-but after two years there I just wanted to
try to do something new and different. Raging Stallion is the company
that shoots some of my favorite porn, so it was an easy choice.” After the jump, a few pics from the set and one from a recent modeling gig for a French boy mag.
The unfortunate thing about being outed by your coworker’s public gay slurs is that when you start going out with someone half your age, everybody knows about it, you’re bound to be ridiculed, and you’re fair game for even more homophobic moral posturing. Widely reported by blogs earlier this month, the story of Grey’s Anatomy star T.R. Knight’s debut of his blossoming relationship with a barely legal co-ed is now being sensationalized on a tabloid newsstand near you, as evidenced by the Enquirer image to the left. Scandal! Boyfriend Mark Cornelson is only 19 and Knight is 34!
This weekend’s shoot for Steve Cruz’s Hotter Than Hell was a terrific way to spend a Saturday-as long as you don’t like sunlight. Lured with promises of free pizza and crudité, porn stars (Luke Hass, Ricky Sinz, Antonio Biaggi, Scott Tanner, Steve Cruz) and perverts (Julian Marshburn, Mr. San Francisco Leather 2004; Jack Shamama, GayPornBlog.com; Mark Kliem, LavenderLounge.com) descended on the Powerhouse to pretend like they wouldn’t normally be at a bar on Saturday morning. While our weekends are so indescribably busy that we haven’t gotten to editing the footage from the shoot, you can take a look at Kliem’s videoblog (he captures much of the sit-around-and-wait inanity of porn shoots). Until then, we’ve got a few photos to sate you.
Gay porn superstar François Sagat returns to BUTT Magazine in the Spring 2008 issue, where he strips naked and gets playful with “famous celebrity chaser” Gary Lee Boas, showcasing his increasing appeal as not only a hog-tied piss victim and general XXX-covergirl but also as a visible gay celebrity. Could his foray into avant-garde Britney karaoke be what’s pushed him further into the gay consciousness, or is it simply the fact that he’s so conspicuously tattooed and memorable? Surely Gary might’ve had his pick of any celebrity to be his co-star in the pictorial, so François’ presence certainly speaks highly of him.
Basically, everyone needs to get off sometimes. The governor of New York likes to hire whores when he’s down in D.C., and Benedictine monks don’t always want to use their imaginations when they need to relieve a little semen buildup.
A German monk from the 900-year-old Maria Laach Abbey in Rhineland-Palatinate was caught last week trying to steal several gay porn DVDs (titles unknown, sorry) in the city of Wuerzburg in southern Germany.
Calling him “NeoCon Kingpin of gay porn,” The New Republic offers up an unusually sinewy pound of flesh this month to its readers in celebration of the gay porn mogul’s hawkish foreign policy platform. Lucas, who turned 36 on Saturday, called the piece “the best gift for my birthday,” explaining that he has subscribed to the magazine since he emigrated from Russia in 1997. “I am very proud to be featured in my absolute favorite magazine.”
Tired of raised eyebrows when you and a boyfriend ask for a single bed? A new international hotel brand, coincidentally named Attitude Hotels aims to make your visit less awkward. Launched last week and founded by Portuguese-born lawyer/marketer Pedro Castro (pictured), Attitude Hotels will not be an actual chain but rather a brand whose licenses and logo will be given to hotels which conform to the brand’s standards and prescribed gay-friendliness.
“Encanta la droga!” You may recall this little wonder from our GayVN half-time show. She’s actually a Chilean tranny midget who, like so many tranny midgets before her, is trying to eke out a little fame on YouTube by impersonating a drug-addled diva.
We respect all the old ‘perpetual bachelors’ and proto-homos of yore who chose to keep their proclivities private; they had their reasons and who are we to judge. But it’s the sheer amount of evidence that our mothers and grandmothers so willfully ignored that’s truly baffling.
Below, our incredibly scientific scoring system.
Under 30 points: Barely Any Smoke…
30-35: Low Burn (“That’s nonsense. He was in the army with your father.”)
35-40: Smoldering Fire (“He’s not that way … he’s too handsome.”)
40-44: Steady Blaze (“Don’t be mean. He’s just artistic.”)
45-49: High Flame (“I was too busy looking at the candelabra to notice, dear.”)
50: My Eyes! My Eyes!
Sure, we’re as smitten with CNN‘s Anderson Cooper as the next faggot-okay, maybe not totally as smitten-but we’ve never understood what the big deal is about celebrities coming out of the closet, especially if they don’t pretend to be straight in the first place like certain Will Smiths we know. Sites like Gawker and Queerty, however, have become so rabid in their anticipation of a grand gesture from Anderson that they’ve taken to reporting every detail they can find about him, however insignificant, and painstakingly analyzing how it relates to his sex life. Sometimes puzzling and often hilarious, we’ve sifted through the heap of Anderson- Cooper-isms that point to his gayness and present our favorites now.
The gay news outlets really bore the shit out of us sometimes. Actually, most of the time. And thanks to a poll reported on that indispensable LGBT snooze-flash aggregator, 365gay.com, today’s no exception. Unjoy!
Steve Cruz may have been a pass-around party bottom in the past, but if you’re looking for someone to breed these days, head back to the Ramrod. The porn star-turned-directrix is taking the time saved by not shaving his balls to unveil the “How I Roll” safe sex campaign and to shoot “Steve Cruz’s Hotter Than Hell” all in the same week. The former features condoms adorned with the furry buggerer’s cartoonish visage, the latter with his punnish name. We’re not the first ones to say there’s no escaping the Steve Cruz juggernaut, but really-can’t we get a nut without him?
Even without showing his famed appendage, Jeff Stryker’s got a hokey charm that few can match. There are few things more cliche than “Let’s get you out of those wet clothes,” but when intoned slowly and deeply, and paired with the offer of some ‘hot choc’late,” we can’t help but swoon.
We take back what we said about the glamorous life of a porn star. Life for the Falcon Exclusive isn’t always filled with runway shows, GHB and non-consensual sex: sometimes it involves straight up skank. In Erik Rhodes’ latest dispatch from the Los Angeles set of Afterparty-a sexual roman a clef in which hunky Rhodes gets fisted in one scene and enjoys “interracial” double penetration in another-the star encountered something he couldn’t stomach: a smelly model. Rhodes won’t disclose his name, and instead refers to him, with no small amount of charm and subtlety, as ‘stinky dick’:
It’s the only fetish John Waters thinks is creepy, and seriously, we’re not really all that keen on real babies. But repeated viewings of HBO’s Real Sex and our constant need for discovering new and exciting perversions has led us to spend the week ogling adult babies. (And, no, this has nothing to do with either the porn star baby pictures or our fascination with outing the children of celebrities.) Grab your rattle (we’ll grab our coat-hangers) for a quick stroll(er) through the land of the dirty nappy.
Top man Rambo plays it pretty straight most of the time-nothing gets near his hole. So we found it a little odd when he proposed a little something he calls “the Wig Game,” in this behind-the-scenes interview shot on the set of Raging Stallion’s Lords of the Jungle.
Watch Lords of the Jungle on NakedSword.
We like Barack. He’s nice, and kind of hunky, and he says a lot of things we want to hear. Hillary also seems nice, reminds us of our mothers, says things we want to hear-a bitch behind closed doors, sure, but so are we. So while we seem to instinctively believe that Hillary is still this dorky young open-hearted liberal girl with glasses and bad pants, and we’re not sure which part of us loves Barack and which part just wants to suck him off, we continue to ask ourselves: If we went all the way, would he still love us tomorrow?
HK Lounge
523 9th Ave
New York
Saturdays, 10PM to 4AM
Marc Berkley’s come uptown with everyone else and hosts this weekly
party featuring Ginelle Gordon singing her ass off and a bunch of
hotties boozing it up and schmooze-talking their way into Sunday.
Anyway, we always like a bar with a nice bathroom and multiple levels.
The adult industry really does have an awards ceremony for everything-on March 22nd, at LA’s RAGE nightclub, online male escort site Rentboy.com will present the 2nd Annual International Escort Awards (“Hookies”) to honor the community’s Best in Ho. And at only $25 bucks for VIP seating, you can get up close and personal with (and maybe a ticket to ride) Diesel Washington, Barrett Long, and ’07 NakedSwordsman Jake Deckard. While winners normally take home trophies, here the trophies will take you home (or maybe just out back.)
This week has been a remarkable one for gays to take their clothes off and strut around cyberspace like Marilyn Fucking Monroe. March is a notoriously unsettling part of the year, because it marks the peak of our frustration with the freezing-cold winter and the beginning of summer on the gay calendar. Whether you’re stripping in the streets for Mardi Gras in Sydney or taking some much-needed R&R time from your royal tour of duty overseas, it’s time for the shirt to come off, the sunglasses to take residence over your tan-streaked face, and
Care of The Sword’s tireless editors, we bring you this roundup (by
no means complete, or even-handed) of stuff going on for those of the
homo persuasion this weekend in the two meccas we currently have
bandwidth to cover, San Francisco and New York. Check back soon to see
us cover more gay urban centers near you (sorry, Cheyenne, we may never
get to you).
Our heavily editorialized listings after the jump…
Trust us, we have. For further attempts to live vicariously through us in the wake of our cheerful and overwhelmingly positive experience at Sydney Mardi Gras, there’s a new list on Australia’s premier gay megasite, SameSame.com.au, of the Top 50 Gayest Songs Ever. Accepting thousands of votes, the list includes songs like “New York City Boy” by the Pet Shop Boys, “Strong Enough” by Cher, RuPaul’s “Supermodel“, and “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go” (CHOOSE LIFE!) and that’s just in the first batch! Now, keeping in mind that Australia’s pop culture is certainly a little bit different than what we see in the United States, we have to say that this list is pretty universal as far as gays are concerned.
When we started asking stars about safer sex practices on set, we didn’t realize how much animosity was lurking below the surface. Spencer Quest, in particular, used it as a launching pad to discuss his experiences in the industry, as well as his crystal meth addiction, his off-set gang-bangs and his subsequent sero-conversion. While he acknowledges that he didn’t contract HIV on set, and that the industry didn’t get him addicted to meth, he claims they weren’t exactly helpful. Now, Michael Lucas is fighting back.
It makes sense that if Titan-exclusive Diesel Washington were to invent a new sex position that he would call it the “Bully.” After all, out of all the gay adult performers we can think of, nobody simultaneously turns us on and terrifies us more than Diesel (except maybe “Rimjob the Klown” in which case, we’re actually just terrified exclusively). Upon hearing about this new creative masterpiece in his strongly worded blog entry about his upcoming headlining feature, Telescope, we felt our throats sink into our stomachs with trepidation and felt compelled beyond all self-control to harass him into telling us what exactly this “Bully” entails. All is explained after the jump.
“Sniff, swig, puff and your cares are gone!” This number, which needs to be seen to be believed, comes from a Bea Arthur 1980 network special and features a pre-AIDS-joke Rock Hudson.
We especially liked one of the comments from the original page we grabbed this from: “You think they had a sword fight in the men’s room before the show?”
In this sketch from the late 70s, game show mainstay and frequent Tonight Show guest Charles Nelson Reilly plays an of-course-fey-and-persnickety airline gate agent to Johnny Carson’s frustrated business traveler. (As it happens, Reilly appeared about a 100 times on the show in part because was such a reliably funny guest, but in part because he lived around the corner from the Burbank studio and would often be called on to fill in for scheduled guests who did not show up on time.)
We don’t mean to make your gag reflex choke up twice in one week, honest! We’re still as committed to hot guys as we ever were, but when a New York City fag journalist gets naked in an homage to (or rather, spoof of) a contemporary Hollywood starlet who’s trying, like every other starlet before her, to channel Marilyn Monroe, we’ve gotta post the grotesque nudes or we’d be doing a disservice to our field. Besides, at least there’s a cultural context in which to place Musto’s pageantry, unlike Perez Hilton’s oh-so-tragic pink-haired imitation of Britney Spears. If Musto represents the grand tradition of gossip columnists and Perez represents their future, we’re inarguably doomed, but isn’t it funny how closely it parallels the comparison of Marilyn Monroe to Lindsay Lohan?
We have a deep appreciation for Rock Hudson and all the other “perpetual bachelors” of mid-century America, and feel a certain kinship with the proto-homos of yore. We understand that prior to AIDS and parades, we weren’t exactly on the suburban radar, but, uh, COME ON NOW! Today, our first look at the pioneering homos that our parents figured were just, you know, a little funny.
